Wednesday, November 15, 2006

If the higherups at my employer try to pull this shit, I'm quitting, like tomorrow man.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

It was wise to choose Jack Gallagher for TV spots in the local "Yes on (Propositions) Q & R" campaign.

It was brilliant simply because:

Jack Gallagher is a veteran comedic talent, and these two ballot initiatives are a big fuckin’ joke.

Who in their right mind could possibly think that the Maloofs deserve a handout from the people of Sacramento County, mostly from those who can hardly afford the Comcast cable service necessary to watch Kings games, let alone tickets to see them play in person? Q and R just reek of elitist luxury entitlement bullshit, while the questions re: remedies to problems with crime, schools, roads and levees in our area go unanswered.

It’s a sad reflection upon our civic fiber to see that it takes a nearly unhealthy obsession with men who are paid millions to play what kids are out doing daily for free (and just for fun) to prop up some kind of faux urban improvement crusade.

The reality is that the Kings don’t do shit when it comes to defining the cultural fabric or quality of life for Sacramentans. If anything, their loading up the moving vans to Anaheim or Kansas City or Podunk or wherever could be an improvement to the general vibe around here. With a little luck, the wannabe jocks and mushbrain conservative mutahfukkas who are entertained only by relatively shallow crap like pro sports would either stay out in the sticks or leave the area entirely (in either case, good riddance and I won’t miss you.)

And don’t try to feed me this spoonful of bullshit about how we can also use the new arena for concerts and other events. The new joint is going to be intentionally designed as acoustically lame, just like the old one, with the goal of producing the loudest fan squealing to egg on the beloved local heroes and intimidate the hated rivals. Every musical act, from Andrea Bocelli to the Stones, will sound just as shitty in this proposed new dump as the current one.

Sacramento could easily become a Vienna of the West. All it takes is common sense ideas like Second Saturday and the number of park concerts springing up in the warmer months. There are plenty of entertainment options in Sacramento and more increasing daily, proportionate to our population increase over the years. Perhaps it would be in the better interests of our metropolitan psyche to keep major league sports as a good excuse to drop by the Bay Area once in a while, just like it was in the pre-Kings era.

Just make it easy for creative people to set up shop around here (and with the low cost of living and good odds of finding the so called “day job”, that can be a reality,) and all of the no-life lackeys who need a bouncy bally going back and forth to keep amused can, oh I dunno, get off their fat ol’ spectating asses and get involved in some positive healthy pastimes of their own.

Monday, August 21, 2006


Click Here, Pilgrim

Sunday, July 30, 2006


Erm, I mean, hold your ground.

Asking you to give away your present store building is like someone walking up to the folks at Jim Denny’s Lunch and saying, “Say, uh, we decided that it would be better for the area if we just tore this down and put up a Chipotle. We’ll give you, uh, $12,000 for your lil’ burger shack here. How’s that sound? ”

And you know what? Fuck’em. This Z Gallerie guy is just going to put a bunch of foo-foo trendoid stores in your present site that I’m not going to want to buy anything from, but that’s certainly not in the case of you folks at Joe Sun and Co.

Yep, I remember when Joe Sun was the only store in Sacramento that had the ALL black Converse high-tops that have been a longtime part of my required footwear (and in my size at that!) and the ever practical wool watch cap for winter wear. All kinds of people working in, say, a restaurant kitchen, beauty salon or construction site, or “big and tall” in stature, already know what’s up with Joe Sun. According to a profile on, this store has annual sales revenue of about 1.5 million dollars. Not bad for a store with only 13 fuckin’ employees! SOMEbody is buying all those Dickies!

But here come these fools trying to offer 2 or 3 mil because, to paraphrase certain so-called experts, “eeyah, duh-uh, tha bildin is in poe shayeep!” The building is obviously not in poor enough shape to discourage business for Joe Sun & Company OR to scare away customers, so perhaps certain parties must avoid the overuse of the crack pipe before trying to negotiate on business matters.

And if the City of Sacramento goes through with some kind of eminent domain bullshit so that yuppie scum from Gold River can buy Dillon armoires and bread machines, shame on them and a massive voodoo curse on all involved in its undertaking. I hope that Joe Sun’s family owners win this battle and they have to build around the commercial monstrosity that’s proposed for 7th and K. If there’s a perfect opportunity for the “little guy” to tell the mindless representatives of the local developers' machine to suck his ass, this is it.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Eric B & Rakim- Follow the Leader (1988)

Yes, the newer school of rappers has had some big shoes to fill. There's something about certain waves of creativity that don't duplicate or top the spontaneous genius of its beginnings. After all, look at what happened after the American and British underground music of the late 70's and early '80s crested and crashed.

Eric B. and Rakim were just such an example. A duo from the NYC (Rakim from Strong Island, Eric from Noo Yawk's legendary WBLS road unit), these guys are to the history of hip hop what Chuck Berry is to rock n' roll at large. Their innovations (well thought out and versed battle raps, very smart use of sampling and sound layering, and a step forward in the evolution of turntable as instrument) are practically bedrock to today's generation of producers and performers.

Out of their four fine collaborations, Follow The Leader is their never disreputed masterpiece. This has the moments of prime inspiration and composition that classic 80's rhythm and rhyme was best known for. From the title cut: "A magnum as a microphone murderin' MC's"... sound familiar? Hell yes it should, if you were born before 1980 or so. How about these gems from "Microphone Fiend?" "Cool, 'Cause I don't get upset" ? Yeah you've heard that line in the groove somewhere... "A smooth operator operating correctly", what? You ain't recalling those now? All right, I'll give you an easy one... "a lethal weapon/An assassinator, if the people ain't stepping"... oh Hell yes, you'd better get that one right now or get to the back of the class. The point here is this: at a time when folks were still proceeding to bleed dry every Funkadelic and JB beat that ever existed, Rakim lines were in the mix as tribute and recognition of a (now relatively ancient) MC that was truly respected for his mic skills. And yet another notable moment in the early development of the music: the MC AS the sample.

C'mon admit it. Although we have a lot of skilled rhymers around nowadays (most of which aren't on your mainstream radio or TV, admittedly) you can name a few mushmouths out there who could use a sit down and a well intentioned playthrough of this album. Who am I kidding. These people all know Eric B. and Rakim. And if they don't, then they deserve to have the mic swiped and never returned.

Monday, June 26, 2006

I’ll address this openly, since the person I’m talking about is still busy yakking it up with interviewers (and, hey, they're calling him, so no one can blame him for responding) and he does not have the time to read a rant from lil’ ol’ me:

Vincent Ferrari: I feel sorry for you, brah.

Not because you tried to cancel your AOL account and were put through what those in the call center-industry may refer to as “stop save Hell.” You got your 15 minutes, yea, maybe close to 20 or 25 minutes, of fame out of this incident. (Almost creeping up to equating the 31 minutes you spent and taped with this glorious PR fiasco for AOL.) Hell, you’re already in the Wikipedia entry on AOL.

And not because you got someone fired (since I suspect that “John” or “Jon” or “the guy using John Doe as a fake name to keep from losing his SSI payments,” whoever he may be, didn’t seem to care at that point about losing his job anyway.) You probably did that now former rep a favor and now he can move on to a call center job where he's under less pressure to fuck with the customer's requests to cancel.

Or, that as time moves on, just before the Establishment Media and the sheep it leads around forgets about you and your story, I also have a gut feeling that you will be smeared by many as an AOL apologist, despite your repeated claims to the contrary. I’d be on the side to give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe. Regardless, AOL probably would have downsized or outsourced "John's" job sooner or later just like they did at their call centers across the country, announced just this past May.

No, I don’t pity you for any of those reasons.

I feel for you, Mr. Ferrari, because, on all of these nationally broadcast stories and interviews, you had to freely admit that you were an AOL subscriber.

AOL is to Internet Service Providers what is to dating: a handholding, asswiping care attendant for users who should have the adequate amount of brain cells to be able to do most, if not all, of the work on their own. Employing good old-fashioned right-wing iron fist morality, they a have a Terms Of Service agreement somewhat resembling the civil code of Salem, Massachusetts, circa 1692. The average AOL user probably keeps folks like Larry the Cable Guy, Britney Spears and the shareholders and executives at Wal-Mart from ever worrying about where their next meal is coming from. And the bulk mailing of millions of AOL junk mail packs (complete with signup CD- “No Credit Card Required, Brokedicks!”) is the mass marketing practice of the Barnum Theory at its most egregious.

So congratulations, Mr. Ferrari. (Or, like that now-unemployed AOL scapegoat, may I call you “Vince?”) You escaped the AOL net, and for that alone, you should be commended. But, after reading some of your other blog posts, oozing with textbook right-wing whinefests about, for example, the liberal bias of the media (the same media that has gladly pimped your story ad nauseum,) it would seem that AOL and yourself are a match made in Heaven, and one would wonder why you would even bother to cancel your account at all.

Here's the conversation between Vincent Ferrari and "John"

Here's why "John" may have felt so, um, "valued" as an AOL employee

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Hey, that new Kings arena seems to be coming along nicely. I took a look at the web page describing it, and I bet that people can’t wait to see Bibby and Artest do their thing inside this majestic palace of a quarter billion dollar stadium. It’s going to seat just under 19,000 and Sprint signed on for the naming rights, kicking down 62 million to name it Sprint Arena. Plus, get this- the 72 luxury boxes have ALREADY been sold, and the arena’s construction is still not completed!

What? You haven’t heard about this? There’s a good reason for that, IF you live in Sacramento. The new arena is going to be built in Kansas City. Yup, the former home of the Kings, who jumped over to Sac supposedly because, among other reasons, the Kemper Arena couldn’t satisfy an NBA team any longer. And, at least for now, the local media has had little if anything to report on it. I guess that, when your local news ratings and ad revenue and whatnot are so inextricably tied into the Kings’ presence in town, you tend to become something akin to a Democrat in Congress when it comes to standing up and asking some possibly provocative questions.

So, yeah, occasionally we’ve heard about how the NHL Penguins are being wooed into moving to K.C., but only the most clueless of the Kings’ present fan base shouldn't be able to read the writing on the wall. The Maloofs made statements re: how they’re unhappy with Arco Arena and how it’s in such sad shape because of the lack of luxury suites and whatnot. I guess that those consecutive sellouts game after game can get pretty unimpressive after a while, eh?

So suck it in and face it, all ye loyal Sacramento subjects to the Kings: the moving vans have possibly already been reserved. And before you start branding me as a Chicken Little, consider the statement that Joe Maloof made to a Sacramento Bee columnist after sacking Rick Adelman as coach:

"We're pretty impulsive people. We move quick.”

Maybe you need to back up and read that quote again. If you’re a wee bit slow, let me break it down to you. The Maloofs, it is implied, are pretty impulsive people and… move… quick.

Try to remember those words when the Kings are choking in the playoffs a few (or even just a couple of) years down the line in their future home, and if you still want to support them, they’ll be a just-under 1800 mile drive to the east.

(Click here for a peek at the Kings’ future home)

Monday, March 06, 2006


Hey folks! Have I got some swell news for all you rapists and inbreeders out there!

Effective July 1, there will be brand spankin’ new legislation on the books making it a crime for ANY abortion to be performed in the State of South Dakota! Yep, you heard it right! I just signed legislation into law that will put any doctor in jail for five years for taking away the life of a potential future tax payin’ voter!

Of course, to appease the tree huggin’ liberals out there, we made an exception if the doctor can prove that the mother’s life is in danger. But since childbirth can be a potentially dangerous and life-threatening procedure to begin with, fat lotta good that would do! Hardly anyone could prove it and darn it, we WANT it that way! And what's more, a doctor can give a "morning after" pill to a victim of rape or incest BEFORE it's determined that she is pregnant! And as anyone can figure out, it should be real easy to find a "morning after pill", considering that there is only ONE Planned Parenthood in all of South Dakota, and a doctor elsewhere in the state MIGHT not be too conservative to keep 'em in stock! I ask you, now how fair is that?

But at this moment, I’d like to extend my warmest invitation to all of you rapists and inbreeders out there. Now I know that folks with your tendencies have a natural urge to breed just like anyone else of us in the U-S-of-A. And it does not surprise me that you may feel some sense of personal violation when that relative or rape victim goes to an abortion clinic and takes away a life that YOU helped to create. Well, now you can consider all of South Dakota as the land where you can finally find true justice AND fulfill your dreams to be fruitful and multiply your mustard seed until you are arrested and jailed.

I said it when I signed the abortion ban into law, and I’ll say it again. In the history of the world, the true test of a civilization is how well people treat the most vulnerable and most helpless in their society. The sponsors and supporters of this bill believe that abortion is wrong because unborn children are the most vulnerable and most helpless persons in our society. I agree with them.

And what’s more, a 3-week-old embryo is WAY more helpless and vulnerable than a woman who was viciously gang raped or a 12-year-old girl who gets impregnated by her biological father. That’s just plain as day! Um, isn’t it?

So anyway, I realize that it’s hard for people with your particular pathological view of society and family life to find a place where you can be accepted and understood. Well, let me tell you loud and clear. As of now, think of South Dakota as your personal paradise! Come on over!

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Hey, Bono, what the fuck?

Why are you “bro”ing down so hard with Dubya, of all people?

It looks absolutely silly. It’s about as funny as when they took that photo of Nixon giving Elvis an honorary ‘lil tin badge to become an honorary drug enforcement agent or some shit like that. Perhaps even more ridiculous, since supposedly you don’t do drugs as much as Presley did.

I mean, going to a fuckin’ prayer breakfast with Bush? That’s like, if Charlie Chaplin hung out for omelets and coffee with J. Edgar Hoover! Although of course, THAT would have been worth seeing and listening to! Not full of the patronizing horseshit we hear the two of you tossing out to the media. “Mr. President, your emergency plan for AIDS relief and support for the Global Fund-you and Congress-have put 700,000 people onto life-saving anti-retroviral drugs and provided 8 million bed nets to protect children from malaria.” (Dubya didn’t really do shit except sign a couple of pieces of paper that were poked around since Clinton was in office, but I digress.) And we have Dubya flirting with, “The thing about this good citizen of the world is he's used his position to get things done. You're an amazing guy, Bono. God bless you." Geez fellahs, get a room will yers?

How about asking Dubya about his poo-pooing on the Kyoto accord, Bono? Oh yeah, this was about poverty. Okee dokee then… c’mon over to my neck of the woods and come over to the local county welfare office over at 29th and R Streets. Talk to the folks who are there to see their caseworkers because their assistance has been held up for the past three weeks because of a computer malfunction (courtesy of Electronic Data Systems, founded by H. Ross Perot, and ironically a top ranking campaign donor.) Don’t forget to meet the folks getting yet another cut on their payments or appealing some arbitrary bullshit ruling that claims some exaggerated or even completely false accusation of violation of the code. Hell, talk to the caseworkers too. Let them tell you how great it is to be working in social services in Bush’s America with little or no budget and resources to go by.

Then take the light rail over to 8th and Capitol and stroll east a couple of blocks to see Arnie (don’t worry, if he’s in, I’m sure he’ll make time to see you.) Ask Schwarzenegger about his proposal to take back the $114 million in promised funding for child care so that moms can meet their CalWORKS requirement to get off of assistance and go to work. Ask him how, if the Federal government will now require 60,000 more people off welfare and into jobs in order to sustain funding levels, then how will we get those kids in child care and those moms to work every day? And while you’re there, ask him about the aforementioned Electronic Data Systems and if their campaign dollars have any influence on the over bloated 250 mil or so (2003 estimate) that they bill the state each year to run the shitty aforementioned computer systems.

And to think that you got up in public and asked Dubya and those other assholes to tithe one more percent of the federal budget to the world’s poor. Oh my fuckin’ gawd! Are you high?

Let’s look at this realistically. Just like Tricky Dick and The King back in the ‘70’s, you both have had it stuck in your minds that this is a swell publicity opportunity for the both of yers. The parallels are almost frightening: the Chief Executive, badly waning in popularity among his own citizens, getting props from the aging rock star in the throes of his own comeback, each recognizing the opportunity to increase personal stock in the other. Bush gets to look like an open-minded humanitarian to the youngin’s (or so he hopes,) and Bono gets to sell more iPod downloads. And when you see someone like Bono hawking conspicuous consumption like iPods, many of us who already had U2’s plastic sociopolitical stances sussed (thanks to growing up exposed to Stiff Little Fingers and the like before U2 even started getting airplay,) are just scratching our heads in bewilderment and asking “both of you… what the fuck are you trying to prove?”