Not that I can stand more than 120 seconds of the Fox News Channel, but…

Why is it, whenever I flip channels, the crawl on Fux is spewing some kind of Chicken Little alarmist bullshit about Hugo Chavez and Venezuela, that is, doing so when some rocket scientist like Neil Cavuto isn't yakking on and on about what an evil dictator and threat to world peace that Chavez is.

So, how come other networks aren’t joining in on the fun? Is it because Fux News is so “Fair” and “Balanced” in comparison to the rest of the Evil Liberal Media? Uh, nuh brah.

It's because there really ISN'T that much of a story. At least not yet. In all probability, it’s a creative way for Fux News to divert its crap corroded conservative extremist viewership from thinking too hard about the ever increasing failed experiment that is Dubya’s cock compensation mission in Iraq. That, alternated with “Lookee! Thet thar Dow stock ticker jes hit FO-TEEN THOW POINTS! See how great this here economy’s doin?”

Any media company owned by media fuehrer Rupert Murdoch that criticizes the censorship policies of anyone is playing a serious game of Glass House Stone Throwing. Let’s follow up the Chavez bashing stories, why don’t we, with the latest update on the Chinese MySpace venture? And, besides the fact that Rupe’s May/December Chinese wifey was handed the job of "chief of strategy", you may want to fill in all of your allegedly patriotic, freedom loving American viewers with the policies of self-censorship and repression of comments opposing the policies of the People’s Republic.

But of course, that’s wishful thinking. Rupe and News Corporation and MySpace and related corporate pigs would rather rake in the bucks than keep it real, whether it’s from China, the U.S. or anywhere else the money’s green. So ultimately, Chavez’ shortcomings are much more news-sexy (and safer) to harp on than China’s human rights abuses and their economic bedfellowing with a swell fellow like Robert Mugabe, whose regime routinely arrests and abuses Zimbabwe’s political dissidents and has done so consistently for the past 27 years. But then again, he’s not a socialist so that’s, erm, "good" repression. The kind that opens up the possibility of a lucrative MySpace Zimbabwe venture.

So remember, Fux News: there’s strict definitions that you have fabricated all by yourselves as to “good” socialism and “bad” socialism. Be sure to whine endlessly about the latter. Just don’t show your hand to your brain dead audience ‘cause then there might be Hell to pay. Well maybe not. They’re probably THAT stupid and gullible.