I ALWAYS KNEW THAT SID HAD ROYAL BLOOD IN HIM

You know, sometimes I just happen to notice the weirdest shit.

Case in point: Below is an ad for the TV series The Tudors.


Okay. Now here is a picture of Sid Vicious.



Perhaps there are those of you out there who are a little sloooow and still aren't seeing it. Let's try a side-by-side comparison:



Yeah. I know. Trippy, huh?

INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT THE NUMBER 4000

Well, it's been a little hectic for me lately, so for this blog entry I'm just going to keep things light with a lil' numerology analysis, 'kay? Cool. Here we go.

INTERESTING THINGS ABOUT THE NUMBER 4000

-In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus fed 4000 Gentiles. You know, that thing with the loaves and fishes that he pulled off. Same with the Gospel of Mark.

-Hassidic tradition states that there are always 36 Tsaddiks (spiritual masters or adepts) in this world at all times. Each of these 36 individuals are responsible for bestowing what basically can be decribed as immortal grace to 4000 Earthlings. Multplying those numbers (4000 x 36) will give you the nifty sum of 144000; yet another famous biblical number which provides plenty of parlor conversation for both Jehovah's Witnesses and Harmonic Convergence freaks for hours upon end.

-4000 is both a natural and a decagonal number. Unless you're a math or computer science nerd, this means absolutely nothing.

-4000 in Roman numerals is MMMM. If a restaurant owner back in the days of Pontius Pilate was smart enough he or she would have named the establishment "4000." Now THAT'S a name that would have subliminally packed the joint from wall to wall, floor to ceiling.

There's one other thing I wanted to mention about the number 4000 today but I forgot. Something to do with what I just heard on the news today. Oh well, I'll sleep on it and maybe I'll remember tomorrow. It probably wasn't anything people care that much about anyway.

NEWSPRINT: THE KRYPTONITE OF THE UPPER CLASS

I’ve got to admit it: I love conspiracy theories.

The latest one I’ve concocted goes something like this:

Somebody has grabbed the newspaper industry by the nuts and they are shameless supporters of plutocracy and they’re on a mission. Somehow, they’ve got it in their sick little heads that by taking out the print product and leaving the online version of news available, a new lower class can be (un)developed and exploited due to the fact that their information sources would suddenly be reduced to the soundbites of TV coverage (IF they have cable or a digital-compatible set.) There’s always radio, but who actually owns one of those anymore?

Sure, a network like NPR might take up more relevance, but, just like the TV networks, they have a certain level of dependency on the established papers for facts and sources and in-depth coverage and accuracy and ethics and all that. So shutting down paper journalism would be like applying a double-edged sword to both the dissemination of information and American citizens’ access to integrity of information in itself.

Somehow, somebody caught the ears of the major newspaper companies in this country and convinced them that the sky is falling. In reality, although the circulation numbers have fallen considerably, newspapers – and I mean newsPAPERS, not the online stories lifted from newspapers – continue to pull in a tidy profit. Ah, but they’re not profiting as much as before, so it’s time to panic like a bunch of pokies hearing a car’s backfire and thinking that it’s a shotgun, and shut down the print operation so’s we can git into this here brave new world of online media that all these crazy kids are into nowadays!

Makes a lot of sense, that is, if you support lowering opportunities for advancement and effectively cutting the lower rungs of the economic ladder. All those folks reading papers on public transit, in cafes, even in the public library, have a vital tie to the “civilized” world pulled away. Information is simply – gone - like want ads, and housing rental classifieds, and no more grocery store ads to compare, unless you have junk mail sent to your mailbox, and hopefully you have found a job and have a place to live through some other means somehow, because you don’t have a very good tie to the Internet unless you sign up on a mile long waiting list at the library or borrow somebody’s computer.

Which brings us to the reality behind yet another lie propagated by the death knell ringers of newspapers: contrary to their sermons, folks aren’t as wired as the pro-online preachers claim. Sure, estimates nowadays show that up to 92 percent of the country can receive high-speed connectivity, but how many people can actually afford it, let alone a personal computer? My unscientific estimate says: not that many, especially when you factor in that 55% of the country is working class or lower in income. Which means that, at best, only up to 45% of Americans can take full advantage of the Internet and that includes the socio-economic benefits.

When the classes detach further between rich and poor (and the glass ceiling between them gets thicker and more bulletproof) don’t come crying to me. At least I tried to warn somebody.

THE CEA PORK BARREL

Hey you state worker folks out there.

C'mere a minute. I've got something to ask ya.

What the fuck is a CEA?

Never mind. I already know the answer. According to the California State Personnel Board's statutory definition:

"Government Code Section 18547 defines Career Executive Assignment "as an appointment to a high administrative and policy influencing position within the state civil service in which the incumbent's primary responsibility is the managing of a function or the rendering of management advice to lop level administrative authority". Such a position can be established only in the top managerial levels of state service and is typified by broad responsibility for policy implementation and extensive participation in policy evolvement."

OK, so your job is to boss people around. And advise on a whole bunch of undefined shit.

No surprise there, that this type of gig would exist in a bureaucracy. But now that we have oriented ourselves somewhat with this CEA position, answer this question for me.

Why the fuck does the Department of Motor Vehicles need 35 of these CEAs?

At between $84,120 and $129,948.00 a year?

From the looks of it, if you cut 4 of those CEA positions loose, you could hire about a dozen key data operators who could help process registration and license renewals so that the state's drivers don't have to wait 2 months for a response to what they had to apply for!

And I guess that the DMV isn't the only department where this decent CEA setup can be acquired. Parks and Recreation has 19, Board of Equalization 31, Franchise Tax Board, 44! And on and on! By the time I discovered that the Department of Transportation had 88 of these rocket scientists, I got tired of checking.

Bravo to the Sacramento Bee for making the state pay database easily accessible. And as for the state workers who were protesting at 21st and Q Streets like they had "Missing The Point" stamped across their foreheads, perhaps you could go to all of these state agencies guilty of CEA abuse and demand to give back some jobs that do some real work. But then again they probably couldn't possibly have time to cover all of the locations necessary in one decade.


Check out the Bee's state pay database. to borrow a slogan from the California State Fair (who apparently only has one CEA- for now,) it's Big Fun! Click Here, Pilgrim

SECOND SATURDAY: R.I.P.

Second Saturday. Through.

Not that I was that crazy about it in the first place.

For those of you living outside of the Sacramento area, the best way to describe the local Second Saturday, erm, happenings is like this:

In your burg, there's probably a bunch of art fart types desperate for patronage/attention/income who can't possibly get enough of all 3. But of course, there's this loftier mission that they come up with of enlightening the poor, unwashed masses to their brilliant creative offerings (at least that's what their spouses and moms tell them) and hopefully collect a few hundred bucks from some insecure yuppie trying to prove to their friends how culturally hip they are by picking up this possible future legend's scrap metal sculpture or brushed acrylic on dumpster-dived drywall painting.

So step number two usually invloves getting the gallery owners to agree on a particular night on a specific week of the month, stock up at Trader Joe's on the French Onion Pita Chips, Australian Cheddar and Cabernet Sauvignon and voila! We have an art walk!

Fuck that shit. I only needed to go out on a couple of these exercises in futility to realize that it is about as rewarding and interesting to me as watching a street person rearrange his or her cans and bottles in his or her shopping cart. No, strike that, the latter activity is much more fun.

For starters, if the organizers behind this event planning think that they are attracting new support for the local art scene, they are dreadfully wrong. It's usually the same old assholes month after month (chiefly comprised of the artists, gallery people and their friends and family, with a few of the usual poseur party people thrown in) showing up at the galleries to hang out and socialize and get shitfaced loaded and remind themselves of how way fuckin' cool and cutting edge they are for being part of the very stink of hipness they are farting into the Sacramento night and you should be so lucky as to be inhaling downwind!

No thanks. I'll wear my gas mask until midnight on Second (or Third) Sunday and pass, thanks much. I'm one of those crazy folks that actually goes out to the gallery or-shudder!-the Crocker once in awhile. And when I'm in that thar big city with the humungous bridges down by the bay, I even take the time to go to the MOMA and check out what's new or even to get a repeat view of the stuff that's been there seemingly forever. I don't need an excuse of forced social interaction in order to take in the work of artists. When you think about it, turning the toil and sacrifice of people into a carnival show is sort of fucked. No, fuck that, it's TOTALLY fucked.

The local metropolitan art walk. It's like a spreading cancer. Click Here, Pilgrim

RUSH'S LISTENERS ARE THE ACTUAL LOWER PRIMATES

Some asshole called Rush Limbaugh and gushed that his 12 year old daughter mentioned that Barack Obama reminds her of Curious George. A monkey. 12 year old daughter. Yeahrite buddy.

While normally I would not dignify this stupid shit with a reaction, I need to point out who the real life Curious George actually is.

AND THEN THEY WENT DANCING AT "FACES" - HAR HAR HAR

Lisa Heyamoto, in her Sacramento Bee Column (dateline 3/1/08) makes a reference to a lunch sighting at Midtown's Zocalo trendoid feeding trough.

Apparently, without naming names but making it so painfully obvious as to who these folks actually are, she relates that West Sacramento's mayor, Christopher Cabaldon, and Sacramento's latest wannabe mayor, ex-NBA star Kevin Johnson, were lunching together, perhaps for KJ to get some feedback on what it's like to be a big city type mayor without having to speak to his future probable opponent, Heather Fargo.

But what's really noticible is the comment that Lisa enters at the end of the item, and I quote:

The mystery politician, whose name rhymes with "Mabaldon,"said the two are friends and were simply having lunch. The two then gabbed about "American Idol" before hitting the mall.

So, Lisa, what are you implying here? This would be a relatively harmless joke except for the fact that Mayor Cabaldon is openly gay. Not that I'm accusing anyone of a homophobic remark. I'm just saying that Lisa's remarks could raise questions of what readers DON'T know about these two at this point. Yes, people ARE that stupid.

Or, on the other hand, maybe these two are just fellow Scientologists and haven't come out about their affiliation with El Ron and the Clams yet.