Someone needs to say this. Just once.
For those of you from my age, cultural expreiences and generation, who watch network / commercial-laden television, you'll understand.
Although I don't come directly from this particular subculture, I think those who are will tend to agree.
Ready? I'll only say it once, and only once.
Mods. Don't. Drive. Cadillacs.
That's all. Carry on.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
MILK IT, NBC! And CBS and ABC and CNN and Fux News!
And all you others, don’t hate on NBC just because the young man only mailed his multimedia extravaganza to them alone! He didn’t have time to make copies and look up addresses! Hell, he couldn’t even get NBC’s address right! I mean, how could you fuck up the address for 30 Rock! And besides, you get to use the images that the Big Bird received! They’re sharing! That’s fair and balanced so admit it, Fux News! Hell yeah it is!
By all means, give the fella his 15 minutes! Or more likely, about 15 hours of face time in the next 24! After all, that’s what he wanted! To tell everyone tuning in how much he hates rich people and feels like the second coming o’ Jeezo! After all, he was being crucified, for Chrissake! Poor lil’ middle class son of dry cleaner owners! He couldn’t get into Harvard or Berkeley so just imagine the degrading feeling he has being among these State University system heathens! The poverty gap resentment is so, well, obvious! Well, it is! Yup!
And by all means, please keep interviewing the roommates! There’s nothing that drives the message home more than the smirks being suppressed by the Caucasian frat boys as they relate their memories of their creepy introverted former classmate! And what’s really incredible here is when you hear them stress how they just let him alone and do his own thing and never, and they mean NEVER did a single thing to tease or antagonize him! My god! This young man lived in the most docile, tolerant dorm- oops uh, I meant, as they say nowadays, “suite” in collegiate history! After all, it’s not unrealistic to assume that when a nerdy, weird loner student is sharing living space with 5 other young guys in various stages of incomplete social and intellectual development, you completely get your own space! They totally let ya be! Of course! That’s like TOTALLY normal!
So by all means, play into the little bugger’s hands like Jacko staring into the eyes of a 12-year-old boy! Splash the pictures of Mr. Stress Junkie brandishing his Wal-Mart ammo loaded guns like a character out of a Chan-Wook Park movie!
(Hey! That reminds me! There’s a part of Oldboy that relies heavily on hammers! Fuck yeah there is!)
Keep replaying that tape of homie trying to talk all low voiced and tough and shit! While speaking to relatives, students, mental health experts, etc., keep playing the same photo slideshow (smiling pose! pointing gun pose! hammer pose! both guns drawn pose! knife pose! and over and over with those same few photos ad nauseam, interspersed with muted video of Freakboy blabbing to the camera!) Better get to work catching up with CNN- they got specials planned for Saturday AND Sunday night! Fuck it! Just broadcast non-stop coverage of all of the funerals, press conferences and related hoo-hah 24-7! For God’s sake, don’t get left behind!
And on a last note, I completely ripped off my writing style for this blog entry! I decided to cop on one of my favorite writers of all time, a guy named Lester Bangs! It’s inspired by one of my favorite pieces of his, called “Sham 69 Is Innocent!” From a classic collection of his work called “Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung”! Go out and get a copy and read it right now! Cover to cover! Especially if you’re an English major! Then you might be inspired to figure out how to write something interesting! Not some dumbass script about some kid getting molested by his stepdad and chainsaws and all that stupid shit! Then people won’t castigate you and think you’re a freak, driving you over the edge until you turn around one day and decide to perforate people with bullets! But you don’t care! Neither do I! So let’s watch!
And all you others, don’t hate on NBC just because the young man only mailed his multimedia extravaganza to them alone! He didn’t have time to make copies and look up addresses! Hell, he couldn’t even get NBC’s address right! I mean, how could you fuck up the address for 30 Rock! And besides, you get to use the images that the Big Bird received! They’re sharing! That’s fair and balanced so admit it, Fux News! Hell yeah it is!
By all means, give the fella his 15 minutes! Or more likely, about 15 hours of face time in the next 24! After all, that’s what he wanted! To tell everyone tuning in how much he hates rich people and feels like the second coming o’ Jeezo! After all, he was being crucified, for Chrissake! Poor lil’ middle class son of dry cleaner owners! He couldn’t get into Harvard or Berkeley so just imagine the degrading feeling he has being among these State University system heathens! The poverty gap resentment is so, well, obvious! Well, it is! Yup!
And by all means, please keep interviewing the roommates! There’s nothing that drives the message home more than the smirks being suppressed by the Caucasian frat boys as they relate their memories of their creepy introverted former classmate! And what’s really incredible here is when you hear them stress how they just let him alone and do his own thing and never, and they mean NEVER did a single thing to tease or antagonize him! My god! This young man lived in the most docile, tolerant dorm- oops uh, I meant, as they say nowadays, “suite” in collegiate history! After all, it’s not unrealistic to assume that when a nerdy, weird loner student is sharing living space with 5 other young guys in various stages of incomplete social and intellectual development, you completely get your own space! They totally let ya be! Of course! That’s like TOTALLY normal!
So by all means, play into the little bugger’s hands like Jacko staring into the eyes of a 12-year-old boy! Splash the pictures of Mr. Stress Junkie brandishing his Wal-Mart ammo loaded guns like a character out of a Chan-Wook Park movie!
(Hey! That reminds me! There’s a part of Oldboy that relies heavily on hammers! Fuck yeah there is!)
Keep replaying that tape of homie trying to talk all low voiced and tough and shit! While speaking to relatives, students, mental health experts, etc., keep playing the same photo slideshow (smiling pose! pointing gun pose! hammer pose! both guns drawn pose! knife pose! and over and over with those same few photos ad nauseam, interspersed with muted video of Freakboy blabbing to the camera!) Better get to work catching up with CNN- they got specials planned for Saturday AND Sunday night! Fuck it! Just broadcast non-stop coverage of all of the funerals, press conferences and related hoo-hah 24-7! For God’s sake, don’t get left behind!
And on a last note, I completely ripped off my writing style for this blog entry! I decided to cop on one of my favorite writers of all time, a guy named Lester Bangs! It’s inspired by one of my favorite pieces of his, called “Sham 69 Is Innocent!” From a classic collection of his work called “Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung”! Go out and get a copy and read it right now! Cover to cover! Especially if you’re an English major! Then you might be inspired to figure out how to write something interesting! Not some dumbass script about some kid getting molested by his stepdad and chainsaws and all that stupid shit! Then people won’t castigate you and think you’re a freak, driving you over the edge until you turn around one day and decide to perforate people with bullets! But you don’t care! Neither do I! So let’s watch!
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Here is the official list of grownups in the Imus controversy:
1. Don Imus
2. The coach and members of the Rutgers basketball team
Why? Because Imus, after making a pretty stupid joke about the Rutgers team re: their general appearance on the court, apologized (AFTER losing his job) and the team accepted his apology (which is what adults, young old or otherwise, should have done.)
Practically everybody else in this scenario who have commented and called for the head of Imus, are fuckin’ pathetic whiny pieces of shit.
As much as I could personally care less about whether Imus goes back on the air or retires to the ranch (or wherever), my take on the controversy (which will probably piss off a lot of people) is: it’s come full circle and firing Imus, rather than simply sticking to the original 2 week punishment, was excessive and unnecessary.
Of course, corporate pigs, being the Chicken Little alarmist idiots they can tend to be, pulled ad money from the radio show and that didn’t help. But in reality, where would the damage be in that regard? For every Procter & Gamble backing out, there’s a 1-800-LOAN-YES or a “How to Make Millions in the Stock Market” company more than willing to pony up the cash to fill in the gaps. You know, like what you see on CW and Fox TV affiliates on weekday mornings and afternoons. And what’s more, Imus could blow off residual steam from the stress of the past controversy by making fun of the sponsors (which would be shooting fish in a barrel for some of these outfits.) Hey, he used to talk plenty of shit about Gold Bond Powder (once, I heard him audibly commenting, “Just take a shower!” DURING the running of the ad) and they still kept paying for the airtime. It could work out in the end and keep things going until the folks who pulled their advertising realize what a bunch of overreactionary idjits they were and call to get back in the loop.
But that, of course was not going to happen and now, for the first time since the Jacko “not guilty” verdict (or perhaps the inexplicable re-election of Dubya,) people who are cursed with a clear sense of reality are scratching their noggins and wondering, “What the fuck?”
Two people I have a surplus of contempt for in this controversy:
The first being:
ANN COULTER: Naturally, any news program desperate enough to let her on (usually with a now just-as-obscene three letter “F” word in its name) let her whine on about how Imus should stop apologizing and how it’s nice to see this happening to a liberal for once. Does anyone really give a flying fuck about what she has to say about this issue? Having this stringy headed attention hoe comment on this matter is like asking Gary Glitter to put forth on his opinion of Pete Townsend’s kiddy porn bust. How can you take anything said with any degree of seriousness? And why bother?
And the second person is:
BRUCE GORDON: The CBS board member who was on every media outlet who’d let him calling for Imus’ firing. Guess the squeaky wheel gets the most grease after all, eh? A gander at the current CBS Corporation roster indicates that Mr. Gordon appears to be one of exactly TWO ethnic minority board members (Linda Griego being the other) and what’s more there’s a pretty, erm, shall we say Wonder Breaded roster of executives at The Eye Incorporated as well. It would seem to me that this is evident of what’s REALLY fucked up with the American society as opposed to three words irresponsibly uttered by a guy already certified as a shock jock. So, hopefully Mr. Gordon uses all of that seemingly endless supply of angst and at the next board meeting has the cojones to get up and say, “So… why doesn’t the racial composition of our top levels of the Corporation reflect the same diversity as our audience, or for that matter, of our nation as a whole?” I’ll be waiting for that moment, and in the meantime, I’ll grab a REALLY long book to pass the hours away.
A whole group of people who should be used as a excuse to bring back tar and feathering are:
THE WASTES OF DNA WHO ARE MAKING DEATH THREATS TO AL SHARPTON: Sure, Reverend Al was acting like an asshole to bring Imus on to his radio show and after airing a live apology STILL called upon his firing. But there is no excuse to threaten some one's life like this. I have a sneaking suspicion anyway that these folks making the threats don't even listen to Imus and have a Confederate flag up on the garage wall up between the noose and the poster of Hitler if you know what I mean and I think that you do.
Yeah, yeah I know, it’s already died down (after all, it was the 12th when Imus was fired, it’s already Saturday the 14th as I’m writing this and the whole matter will be forgotten/ignored by the all the usual flacks by Monday the 16th) but what this whole media circus has revealed to me is sort of disconcerting. What sort of world are we shaping right now for the future? A 65-year-old white guy gets fired for making a stupid remark while the most xenophobic behavior is silently and successfully carried out and even tolerated in so many suit-and-tie circles. So, before you judge the Imuses of the world too harshly take a good long look at your local boardroom or tract housing neighborhood before acting too shocked.
1. Don Imus
2. The coach and members of the Rutgers basketball team
Why? Because Imus, after making a pretty stupid joke about the Rutgers team re: their general appearance on the court, apologized (AFTER losing his job) and the team accepted his apology (which is what adults, young old or otherwise, should have done.)
Practically everybody else in this scenario who have commented and called for the head of Imus, are fuckin’ pathetic whiny pieces of shit.
As much as I could personally care less about whether Imus goes back on the air or retires to the ranch (or wherever), my take on the controversy (which will probably piss off a lot of people) is: it’s come full circle and firing Imus, rather than simply sticking to the original 2 week punishment, was excessive and unnecessary.
Of course, corporate pigs, being the Chicken Little alarmist idiots they can tend to be, pulled ad money from the radio show and that didn’t help. But in reality, where would the damage be in that regard? For every Procter & Gamble backing out, there’s a 1-800-LOAN-YES or a “How to Make Millions in the Stock Market” company more than willing to pony up the cash to fill in the gaps. You know, like what you see on CW and Fox TV affiliates on weekday mornings and afternoons. And what’s more, Imus could blow off residual steam from the stress of the past controversy by making fun of the sponsors (which would be shooting fish in a barrel for some of these outfits.) Hey, he used to talk plenty of shit about Gold Bond Powder (once, I heard him audibly commenting, “Just take a shower!” DURING the running of the ad) and they still kept paying for the airtime. It could work out in the end and keep things going until the folks who pulled their advertising realize what a bunch of overreactionary idjits they were and call to get back in the loop.
But that, of course was not going to happen and now, for the first time since the Jacko “not guilty” verdict (or perhaps the inexplicable re-election of Dubya,) people who are cursed with a clear sense of reality are scratching their noggins and wondering, “What the fuck?”
Two people I have a surplus of contempt for in this controversy:
The first being:
ANN COULTER: Naturally, any news program desperate enough to let her on (usually with a now just-as-obscene three letter “F” word in its name) let her whine on about how Imus should stop apologizing and how it’s nice to see this happening to a liberal for once. Does anyone really give a flying fuck about what she has to say about this issue? Having this stringy headed attention hoe comment on this matter is like asking Gary Glitter to put forth on his opinion of Pete Townsend’s kiddy porn bust. How can you take anything said with any degree of seriousness? And why bother?
And the second person is:
BRUCE GORDON: The CBS board member who was on every media outlet who’d let him calling for Imus’ firing. Guess the squeaky wheel gets the most grease after all, eh? A gander at the current CBS Corporation roster indicates that Mr. Gordon appears to be one of exactly TWO ethnic minority board members (Linda Griego being the other) and what’s more there’s a pretty, erm, shall we say Wonder Breaded roster of executives at The Eye Incorporated as well. It would seem to me that this is evident of what’s REALLY fucked up with the American society as opposed to three words irresponsibly uttered by a guy already certified as a shock jock. So, hopefully Mr. Gordon uses all of that seemingly endless supply of angst and at the next board meeting has the cojones to get up and say, “So… why doesn’t the racial composition of our top levels of the Corporation reflect the same diversity as our audience, or for that matter, of our nation as a whole?” I’ll be waiting for that moment, and in the meantime, I’ll grab a REALLY long book to pass the hours away.
A whole group of people who should be used as a excuse to bring back tar and feathering are:
THE WASTES OF DNA WHO ARE MAKING DEATH THREATS TO AL SHARPTON: Sure, Reverend Al was acting like an asshole to bring Imus on to his radio show and after airing a live apology STILL called upon his firing. But there is no excuse to threaten some one's life like this. I have a sneaking suspicion anyway that these folks making the threats don't even listen to Imus and have a Confederate flag up on the garage wall up between the noose and the poster of Hitler if you know what I mean and I think that you do.
Yeah, yeah I know, it’s already died down (after all, it was the 12th when Imus was fired, it’s already Saturday the 14th as I’m writing this and the whole matter will be forgotten/ignored by the all the usual flacks by Monday the 16th) but what this whole media circus has revealed to me is sort of disconcerting. What sort of world are we shaping right now for the future? A 65-year-old white guy gets fired for making a stupid remark while the most xenophobic behavior is silently and successfully carried out and even tolerated in so many suit-and-tie circles. So, before you judge the Imuses of the world too harshly take a good long look at your local boardroom or tract housing neighborhood before acting too shocked.
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
My official Don Imus Cultural Enlightenment Link™
(Courtesy of the fine scholars at Rutgers)
Click Here.
(Courtesy of the fine scholars at Rutgers)
Click Here.
Friday, April 06, 2007
Monday, April 02, 2007
NO. You CAN’T borrow my fuckin’ cell phone.
Stop asking me.
Here we go. The latest twist to street hustle. I guess it’s a little more dignified than asking for fifty cents for the pay phone. Not like those aren’t an endangered species, but what really burns my ass is when brokedicks ask to use your phone with a pay phone right there.
Which goes to another facet of this particular rant- why do I usually get hit up at Light Rail stations for my cell? Especially at say, 16th Street, where I could be taking either of TWO trains in any particular direction? What, if you aren’t going to Meadowview and I am, THEN I’m supposed to wait until you have your conversation to board MY train?
Okay, okay, you’re running late and need to tell somebody. Suggested solution: be punctual in the first place. Or better yet, carry about a buck in change so you can use the fuckin’ pay phone. Or even better yet, GET YOUR OWN CELL PHONE. If you need to get ahold of people that urgently it might work out for you. But then again, if you are so out of it that you think that walking up to strangers for temporary use of a utility (kind of like asking to borrow their stove or hot water) is perfectly rational behavior, you’re probably too jacked up in the head to keep track of your minutes, let alone pay your bill on time.
As far as I can tell, there are three reasons I have come up with to bum my cell:
1. You’re late and need to tell someone that you’re on your way.
2. You need to contact your dealer/ customer/ fellow gang member/ otherwise questionable character and it’s the PERFECT way not to get pinned down by The Man.
3. You are having some sort of health/ safety/ national security emergency and need to dial 911. (I’d be more than happy to call them for you myself.)
I’m not so worried about numbers 1 and 3 as number 2 and for that reason alone, I’m justified not to be too cool with handing you my phone.
So, in future requests, you will get the response of “Sorry, I need to watch my minutes. Tell you what, I have .50 for the pay phone over there…” and you’ll just have to live with it or ask somebody else. And anyway, it’s going to be common practice for me to be carrying my cell in my pocket and not in my hand from now on so you won’t be any the wiser anyway.
For those of you who think it’s not such a big deal, and gladly hand their cell to any old Tom Dick and Scarface who comes along, wait until it turns into France and fools ask to use your phone and then put their sprinting skills to the test. Then you’ll be the one approaching someone and asking, “Uh (pant pant) can I uh (wheeze) borrow your phone? (Hack pant, wheeze) mine just got taken and I (pant, wheeze, sniffle, sob) couldn’t catch the fucker…”
Stop asking me.
Here we go. The latest twist to street hustle. I guess it’s a little more dignified than asking for fifty cents for the pay phone. Not like those aren’t an endangered species, but what really burns my ass is when brokedicks ask to use your phone with a pay phone right there.
Which goes to another facet of this particular rant- why do I usually get hit up at Light Rail stations for my cell? Especially at say, 16th Street, where I could be taking either of TWO trains in any particular direction? What, if you aren’t going to Meadowview and I am, THEN I’m supposed to wait until you have your conversation to board MY train?
Okay, okay, you’re running late and need to tell somebody. Suggested solution: be punctual in the first place. Or better yet, carry about a buck in change so you can use the fuckin’ pay phone. Or even better yet, GET YOUR OWN CELL PHONE. If you need to get ahold of people that urgently it might work out for you. But then again, if you are so out of it that you think that walking up to strangers for temporary use of a utility (kind of like asking to borrow their stove or hot water) is perfectly rational behavior, you’re probably too jacked up in the head to keep track of your minutes, let alone pay your bill on time.
As far as I can tell, there are three reasons I have come up with to bum my cell:
1. You’re late and need to tell someone that you’re on your way.
2. You need to contact your dealer/ customer/ fellow gang member/ otherwise questionable character and it’s the PERFECT way not to get pinned down by The Man.
3. You are having some sort of health/ safety/ national security emergency and need to dial 911. (I’d be more than happy to call them for you myself.)
I’m not so worried about numbers 1 and 3 as number 2 and for that reason alone, I’m justified not to be too cool with handing you my phone.
So, in future requests, you will get the response of “Sorry, I need to watch my minutes. Tell you what, I have .50 for the pay phone over there…” and you’ll just have to live with it or ask somebody else. And anyway, it’s going to be common practice for me to be carrying my cell in my pocket and not in my hand from now on so you won’t be any the wiser anyway.
For those of you who think it’s not such a big deal, and gladly hand their cell to any old Tom Dick and Scarface who comes along, wait until it turns into France and fools ask to use your phone and then put their sprinting skills to the test. Then you’ll be the one approaching someone and asking, “Uh (pant pant) can I uh (wheeze) borrow your phone? (Hack pant, wheeze) mine just got taken and I (pant, wheeze, sniffle, sob) couldn’t catch the fucker…”
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
It was wise to choose Jack Gallagher for TV spots in the local "Yes on (Propositions) Q & R" campaign.
It was brilliant simply because:
Jack Gallagher is a veteran comedic talent, and these two ballot initiatives are a big fuckin’ joke.
Who in their right mind could possibly think that the Maloofs deserve a handout from the people of Sacramento County, mostly from those who can hardly afford the Comcast cable service necessary to watch Kings games, let alone tickets to see them play in person? Q and R just reek of elitist luxury entitlement bullshit, while the questions re: remedies to problems with crime, schools, roads and levees in our area go unanswered.
It’s a sad reflection upon our civic fiber to see that it takes a nearly unhealthy obsession with men who are paid millions to play what kids are out doing daily for free (and just for fun) to prop up some kind of faux urban improvement crusade.
The reality is that the Kings don’t do shit when it comes to defining the cultural fabric or quality of life for Sacramentans. If anything, their loading up the moving vans to Anaheim or Kansas City or Podunk or wherever could be an improvement to the general vibe around here. With a little luck, the wannabe jocks and mushbrain conservative mutahfukkas who are entertained only by relatively shallow crap like pro sports would either stay out in the sticks or leave the area entirely (in either case, good riddance and I won’t miss you.)
And don’t try to feed me this spoonful of bullshit about how we can also use the new arena for concerts and other events. The new joint is going to be intentionally designed as acoustically lame, just like the old one, with the goal of producing the loudest fan squealing to egg on the beloved local heroes and intimidate the hated rivals. Every musical act, from Andrea Bocelli to the Stones, will sound just as shitty in this proposed new dump as the current one.
Sacramento could easily become a Vienna of the West. All it takes is common sense ideas like Second Saturday and the number of park concerts springing up in the warmer months. There are plenty of entertainment options in Sacramento and more increasing daily, proportionate to our population increase over the years. Perhaps it would be in the better interests of our metropolitan psyche to keep major league sports as a good excuse to drop by the Bay Area once in a while, just like it was in the pre-Kings era.
Just make it easy for creative people to set up shop around here (and with the low cost of living and good odds of finding the so called “day job”, that can be a reality,) and all of the no-life lackeys who need a bouncy bally going back and forth to keep amused can, oh I dunno, get off their fat ol’ spectating asses and get involved in some positive healthy pastimes of their own.
It was brilliant simply because:
Jack Gallagher is a veteran comedic talent, and these two ballot initiatives are a big fuckin’ joke.
Who in their right mind could possibly think that the Maloofs deserve a handout from the people of Sacramento County, mostly from those who can hardly afford the Comcast cable service necessary to watch Kings games, let alone tickets to see them play in person? Q and R just reek of elitist luxury entitlement bullshit, while the questions re: remedies to problems with crime, schools, roads and levees in our area go unanswered.
It’s a sad reflection upon our civic fiber to see that it takes a nearly unhealthy obsession with men who are paid millions to play what kids are out doing daily for free (and just for fun) to prop up some kind of faux urban improvement crusade.
The reality is that the Kings don’t do shit when it comes to defining the cultural fabric or quality of life for Sacramentans. If anything, their loading up the moving vans to Anaheim or Kansas City or Podunk or wherever could be an improvement to the general vibe around here. With a little luck, the wannabe jocks and mushbrain conservative mutahfukkas who are entertained only by relatively shallow crap like pro sports would either stay out in the sticks or leave the area entirely (in either case, good riddance and I won’t miss you.)
And don’t try to feed me this spoonful of bullshit about how we can also use the new arena for concerts and other events. The new joint is going to be intentionally designed as acoustically lame, just like the old one, with the goal of producing the loudest fan squealing to egg on the beloved local heroes and intimidate the hated rivals. Every musical act, from Andrea Bocelli to the Stones, will sound just as shitty in this proposed new dump as the current one.
Sacramento could easily become a Vienna of the West. All it takes is common sense ideas like Second Saturday and the number of park concerts springing up in the warmer months. There are plenty of entertainment options in Sacramento and more increasing daily, proportionate to our population increase over the years. Perhaps it would be in the better interests of our metropolitan psyche to keep major league sports as a good excuse to drop by the Bay Area once in a while, just like it was in the pre-Kings era.
Just make it easy for creative people to set up shop around here (and with the low cost of living and good odds of finding the so called “day job”, that can be a reality,) and all of the no-life lackeys who need a bouncy bally going back and forth to keep amused can, oh I dunno, get off their fat ol’ spectating asses and get involved in some positive healthy pastimes of their own.
Monday, August 21, 2006
Sunday, July 30, 2006
GO JOE SUN! GO!
Erm, I mean, hold your ground.
Asking you to give away your present store building is like someone walking up to the folks at Jim Denny’s Lunch and saying, “Say, uh, we decided that it would be better for the area if we just tore this down and put up a Chipotle. We’ll give you, uh, $12,000 for your lil’ burger shack here. How’s that sound? ”
And you know what? Fuck’em. This Z Gallerie guy is just going to put a bunch of foo-foo trendoid stores in your present site that I’m not going to want to buy anything from, but that’s certainly not in the case of you folks at Joe Sun and Co.
Yep, I remember when Joe Sun was the only store in Sacramento that had the ALL black Converse high-tops that have been a longtime part of my required footwear (and in my size at that!) and the ever practical wool watch cap for winter wear. All kinds of people working in, say, a restaurant kitchen, beauty salon or construction site, or “big and tall” in stature, already know what’s up with Joe Sun. According to a profile on Manta.com, this store has annual sales revenue of about 1.5 million dollars. Not bad for a store with only 13 fuckin’ employees! SOMEbody is buying all those Dickies!
But here come these fools trying to offer 2 or 3 mil because, to paraphrase certain so-called experts, “eeyah, duh-uh, tha bildin is in poe shayeep!” The building is obviously not in poor enough shape to discourage business for Joe Sun & Company OR to scare away customers, so perhaps certain parties must avoid the overuse of the crack pipe before trying to negotiate on business matters.
And if the City of Sacramento goes through with some kind of eminent domain bullshit so that yuppie scum from Gold River can buy Dillon armoires and bread machines, shame on them and a massive voodoo curse on all involved in its undertaking. I hope that Joe Sun’s family owners win this battle and they have to build around the commercial monstrosity that’s proposed for 7th and K. If there’s a perfect opportunity for the “little guy” to tell the mindless representatives of the local developers' machine to suck his ass, this is it.
Erm, I mean, hold your ground.
Asking you to give away your present store building is like someone walking up to the folks at Jim Denny’s Lunch and saying, “Say, uh, we decided that it would be better for the area if we just tore this down and put up a Chipotle. We’ll give you, uh, $12,000 for your lil’ burger shack here. How’s that sound? ”
And you know what? Fuck’em. This Z Gallerie guy is just going to put a bunch of foo-foo trendoid stores in your present site that I’m not going to want to buy anything from, but that’s certainly not in the case of you folks at Joe Sun and Co.
Yep, I remember when Joe Sun was the only store in Sacramento that had the ALL black Converse high-tops that have been a longtime part of my required footwear (and in my size at that!) and the ever practical wool watch cap for winter wear. All kinds of people working in, say, a restaurant kitchen, beauty salon or construction site, or “big and tall” in stature, already know what’s up with Joe Sun. According to a profile on Manta.com, this store has annual sales revenue of about 1.5 million dollars. Not bad for a store with only 13 fuckin’ employees! SOMEbody is buying all those Dickies!
But here come these fools trying to offer 2 or 3 mil because, to paraphrase certain so-called experts, “eeyah, duh-uh, tha bildin is in poe shayeep!” The building is obviously not in poor enough shape to discourage business for Joe Sun & Company OR to scare away customers, so perhaps certain parties must avoid the overuse of the crack pipe before trying to negotiate on business matters.
And if the City of Sacramento goes through with some kind of eminent domain bullshit so that yuppie scum from Gold River can buy Dillon armoires and bread machines, shame on them and a massive voodoo curse on all involved in its undertaking. I hope that Joe Sun’s family owners win this battle and they have to build around the commercial monstrosity that’s proposed for 7th and K. If there’s a perfect opportunity for the “little guy” to tell the mindless representatives of the local developers' machine to suck his ass, this is it.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
PSYCHO'S RECORD PILE
Eric B & Rakim- Follow the Leader (1988)
Yes, the newer school of rappers has had some big shoes to fill. There's something about certain waves of creativity that don't duplicate or top the spontaneous genius of its beginnings. After all, look at what happened after the American and British underground music of the late 70's and early '80s crested and crashed.
Eric B. and Rakim were just such an example. A duo from the NYC (Rakim from Strong Island, Eric from Noo Yawk's legendary WBLS road unit), these guys are to the history of hip hop what Chuck Berry is to rock n' roll at large. Their innovations (well thought out and versed battle raps, very smart use of sampling and sound layering, and a step forward in the evolution of turntable as instrument) are practically bedrock to today's generation of producers and performers.
Out of their four fine collaborations, Follow The Leader is their never disreputed masterpiece. This has the moments of prime inspiration and composition that classic 80's rhythm and rhyme was best known for. From the title cut: "A magnum as a microphone murderin' MC's"... sound familiar? Hell yes it should, if you were born before 1980 or so. How about these gems from "Microphone Fiend?" "Cool, 'Cause I don't get upset" ? Yeah you've heard that line in the groove somewhere... "A smooth operator operating correctly", what? You ain't recalling those now? All right, I'll give you an easy one... "a lethal weapon/An assassinator, if the people ain't stepping"... oh Hell yes, you'd better get that one right now or get to the back of the class. The point here is this: at a time when folks were still proceeding to bleed dry every Funkadelic and JB beat that ever existed, Rakim lines were in the mix as tribute and recognition of a (now relatively ancient) MC that was truly respected for his mic skills. And yet another notable moment in the early development of the music: the MC AS the sample.
C'mon admit it. Although we have a lot of skilled rhymers around nowadays (most of which aren't on your mainstream radio or TV, admittedly) you can name a few mushmouths out there who could use a sit down and a well intentioned playthrough of this album. Who am I kidding. These people all know Eric B. and Rakim. And if they don't, then they deserve to have the mic swiped and never returned.
Eric B & Rakim- Follow the Leader (1988)
Yes, the newer school of rappers has had some big shoes to fill. There's something about certain waves of creativity that don't duplicate or top the spontaneous genius of its beginnings. After all, look at what happened after the American and British underground music of the late 70's and early '80s crested and crashed.
Eric B. and Rakim were just such an example. A duo from the NYC (Rakim from Strong Island, Eric from Noo Yawk's legendary WBLS road unit), these guys are to the history of hip hop what Chuck Berry is to rock n' roll at large. Their innovations (well thought out and versed battle raps, very smart use of sampling and sound layering, and a step forward in the evolution of turntable as instrument) are practically bedrock to today's generation of producers and performers.
Out of their four fine collaborations, Follow The Leader is their never disreputed masterpiece. This has the moments of prime inspiration and composition that classic 80's rhythm and rhyme was best known for. From the title cut: "A magnum as a microphone murderin' MC's"... sound familiar? Hell yes it should, if you were born before 1980 or so. How about these gems from "Microphone Fiend?" "Cool, 'Cause I don't get upset" ? Yeah you've heard that line in the groove somewhere... "A smooth operator operating correctly", what? You ain't recalling those now? All right, I'll give you an easy one... "a lethal weapon/An assassinator, if the people ain't stepping"... oh Hell yes, you'd better get that one right now or get to the back of the class. The point here is this: at a time when folks were still proceeding to bleed dry every Funkadelic and JB beat that ever existed, Rakim lines were in the mix as tribute and recognition of a (now relatively ancient) MC that was truly respected for his mic skills. And yet another notable moment in the early development of the music: the MC AS the sample.
C'mon admit it. Although we have a lot of skilled rhymers around nowadays (most of which aren't on your mainstream radio or TV, admittedly) you can name a few mushmouths out there who could use a sit down and a well intentioned playthrough of this album. Who am I kidding. These people all know Eric B. and Rakim. And if they don't, then they deserve to have the mic swiped and never returned.
Monday, June 26, 2006
I’ll address this openly, since the person I’m talking about is still busy yakking it up with interviewers (and, hey, they're calling him, so no one can blame him for responding) and he does not have the time to read a rant from lil’ ol’ me:
Vincent Ferrari: I feel sorry for you, brah.
Not because you tried to cancel your AOL account and were put through what those in the call center-industry may refer to as “stop save Hell.” You got your 15 minutes, yea, maybe close to 20 or 25 minutes, of fame out of this incident. (Almost creeping up to equating the 31 minutes you spent and taped with this glorious PR fiasco for AOL.) Hell, you’re already in the Wikipedia entry on AOL.
And not because you got someone fired (since I suspect that “John” or “Jon” or “the guy using John Doe as a fake name to keep from losing his SSI payments,” whoever he may be, didn’t seem to care at that point about losing his job anyway.) You probably did that now former rep a favor and now he can move on to a call center job where he's under less pressure to fuck with the customer's requests to cancel.
Or, that as time moves on, just before the Establishment Media and the sheep it leads around forgets about you and your story, I also have a gut feeling that you will be smeared by many as an AOL apologist, despite your repeated claims to the contrary. I’d be on the side to give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe. Regardless, AOL probably would have downsized or outsourced "John's" job sooner or later just like they did at their call centers across the country, announced just this past May.
No, I don’t pity you for any of those reasons.
I feel for you, Mr. Ferrari, because, on all of these nationally broadcast stories and interviews, you had to freely admit that you were an AOL subscriber.
AOL is to Internet Service Providers what Match.com is to dating: a handholding, asswiping care attendant for users who should have the adequate amount of brain cells to be able to do most, if not all, of the work on their own. Employing good old-fashioned right-wing iron fist morality, they a have a Terms Of Service agreement somewhat resembling the civil code of Salem, Massachusetts, circa 1692. The average AOL user probably keeps folks like Larry the Cable Guy, Britney Spears and the shareholders and executives at Wal-Mart from ever worrying about where their next meal is coming from. And the bulk mailing of millions of AOL junk mail packs (complete with signup CD- “No Credit Card Required, Brokedicks!”) is the mass marketing practice of the Barnum Theory at its most egregious.
So congratulations, Mr. Ferrari. (Or, like that now-unemployed AOL scapegoat, may I call you “Vince?”) You escaped the AOL net, and for that alone, you should be commended. But, after reading some of your other blog posts, oozing with textbook right-wing whinefests about, for example, the liberal bias of the media (the same media that has gladly pimped your story ad nauseum,) it would seem that AOL and yourself are a match made in Heaven, and one would wonder why you would even bother to cancel your account at all.
Here's the conversation between Vincent Ferrari and "John"
Here's why "John" may have felt so, um, "valued" as an AOL employee
Vincent Ferrari: I feel sorry for you, brah.
Not because you tried to cancel your AOL account and were put through what those in the call center-industry may refer to as “stop save Hell.” You got your 15 minutes, yea, maybe close to 20 or 25 minutes, of fame out of this incident. (Almost creeping up to equating the 31 minutes you spent and taped with this glorious PR fiasco for AOL.) Hell, you’re already in the Wikipedia entry on AOL.
And not because you got someone fired (since I suspect that “John” or “Jon” or “the guy using John Doe as a fake name to keep from losing his SSI payments,” whoever he may be, didn’t seem to care at that point about losing his job anyway.) You probably did that now former rep a favor and now he can move on to a call center job where he's under less pressure to fuck with the customer's requests to cancel.
Or, that as time moves on, just before the Establishment Media and the sheep it leads around forgets about you and your story, I also have a gut feeling that you will be smeared by many as an AOL apologist, despite your repeated claims to the contrary. I’d be on the side to give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe. Regardless, AOL probably would have downsized or outsourced "John's" job sooner or later just like they did at their call centers across the country, announced just this past May.
No, I don’t pity you for any of those reasons.
I feel for you, Mr. Ferrari, because, on all of these nationally broadcast stories and interviews, you had to freely admit that you were an AOL subscriber.
AOL is to Internet Service Providers what Match.com is to dating: a handholding, asswiping care attendant for users who should have the adequate amount of brain cells to be able to do most, if not all, of the work on their own. Employing good old-fashioned right-wing iron fist morality, they a have a Terms Of Service agreement somewhat resembling the civil code of Salem, Massachusetts, circa 1692. The average AOL user probably keeps folks like Larry the Cable Guy, Britney Spears and the shareholders and executives at Wal-Mart from ever worrying about where their next meal is coming from. And the bulk mailing of millions of AOL junk mail packs (complete with signup CD- “No Credit Card Required, Brokedicks!”) is the mass marketing practice of the Barnum Theory at its most egregious.
So congratulations, Mr. Ferrari. (Or, like that now-unemployed AOL scapegoat, may I call you “Vince?”) You escaped the AOL net, and for that alone, you should be commended. But, after reading some of your other blog posts, oozing with textbook right-wing whinefests about, for example, the liberal bias of the media (the same media that has gladly pimped your story ad nauseum,) it would seem that AOL and yourself are a match made in Heaven, and one would wonder why you would even bother to cancel your account at all.
Here's the conversation between Vincent Ferrari and "John"
Here's why "John" may have felt so, um, "valued" as an AOL employee
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