MICHAEL PHELPS. NOW, THAT YOUNG MAN KNOWS HOW TO PARTY.

Michael. FUCK-in'. Phelps.

Sisqó needs to get this fella into one of his videos.

Britain's News of the World, which is, of course, a pillar of journalistic integrity and accuracy, wasn't happy enough with being the paper that broke the infamous photos of Phelps nailing the bong like a champ. So, in its latest hard-hitting investigative reporting piece on Phelps, it interviews a young Latina lap dancer who claims to have been carrying on a freelance service agreement outside of the normal strip club business model. Now, that's what I call "thinking outside of the box"!

On one hand, Phelps' lifestyle choices make it easy for tabloids to make him look like a fool. On the other hand, I don't quite understand why Rupert Murdoch's pride and joy of print media has such a hard-on against Phelps. A quick search of the site produces a series of observations of his personal life which almost have a personal grudge feel to it. I mean, c'mon, didn't one of you Brits win a silver in swimming at Beijing? Quit hatin'.

Personally, I don't really give a shit about Phelps, the Olympics or swimming, but partying-wise, I can't help but think to myself, "Damn! There goes me at 23!" Therefore, I don't see what the big fuss is about, but maybe you'll have a different opinion, or just get off on tabloid shit. Go ahead and read it yourself if you like. Just be sure to read (or do) something that's actually educational and informative afterwards to make up for the brain cells you'll be losing from reading that shit.