KRUD 2.0 DECONTSTRUCTED

(Transcript of opening dialogue from a CD found in the gutter of a Midtown street corner. Original recording in italics; my commentary in normal type.)



This is Jim Robinson, KWOD program director.

Hello, Jim, this is Michael Psycho, your worst demographic nightmare.

On this CD you’ll hear a vast variety of what you’ll hear on ” KWOD version 2.0”. When we got together to brainstorm KWOD 2.0, we decided to toss out some of the tired “radio stuff”.

You mean, “tired radio stuff” like when radio stations get desperate for ratings and claim to be “throwing away the book” on typical commercial formats?

Starved for attention DJs that don’t have a clue, too many commercials, lame contests, and playing the same 10 songs over and over with mind numbing repetition.

Which is what will KWOD will quickly revert back to after this “noble experiment” fails.

We think Sacramento’s ready for an honest radio station that respects the music, cares what the listeners think, has a little fun and doesn’t take itself too seriously. So we’re gonna hire a staff of knowledgeable jocks who know their music, and give them some freedom on the air.

Hey, uh, don’t we already have that here in Sac? Oh, yeah, it IS about 20 miles away in Davis and in many parts of the city it gets jammed out by other commercial signals that shouldn’t BE in the 90.3 frequency space, but, the fact is, all that philosophy is already, like, THERE, man.

If there’s such a thing as a playlist, it’ll be constantly changing and expanding, a living breathing entity if you will.

Okay, Jim, now you’re starting to creep me out. I want my musical choices to keep me interested, maybe match my emotions on occasion, at least entertain me somewhat. But this “living breathing” playlist shit is downright freaky, brah.

We’re also going to have a dramatic reduction of commercials, and generally, a lot less crap. Oh, we’re not saying no crap, just a lot less crap.

Oh, I get it. That’s like when the Bush administration started saying, “Look, we don’t think Saddam has WMDs, but he coulda started makin’ ‘em if we didn’t go in and git him.” It’s going to be the same old tired standard of playing “less commercials per hour”, but just cramming them together in longer segments.

Enjoy the variety sampler, and tell everybody you know about KWOD 2.0 at 106.5 FM, streaming at kwod.net.

Great! Thanks Jim! Okay, show me what’s in store for what RAD stuff my ears will be treated to!

(What follows Mr. Robinson’s intro is a barrage of 6 to 8 second samples from various “alternative” Top 40 corporate acts such as REM, Nirvana, Jet, and even Bob Marley stuck in the middle somewhere, but it’s “Jammin”, which, like the rest of the barrage of clips in the next 2 minutes, is an over played single which does not even closely represent the artists’ more interesting work. The next two dozen or so tracks appear to be brief segments intended as station ID promos for “KWOD 2.0” basically parroting what was said earlier- “KWOD 106.5- Radio Without Rules”, “fewer commercials, less repetition”, “We play what we want to”, ad nauseum. Each introductory promo is followed by anywhere between one and five minutes of short bursts of the same tired aforementioned music by the same overplayed artists)

You gotta admit it’s a nice try. Hey, someone at the KWOD “brainstorming session” suddenly proclaimed: Let’s just COMBINE ALL of our playlists from at LEAST the last 15 years or so, throw up some trendy “oldies” from the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, and kick in a couple of Marley tracks (to keep the stoners happy), and we won’t piss off the record companies and promoters, because they’re going to make their airplay fees and royalties anyway! After which, the rest of the “brainstormers”, who couldn’t come up with shit to say anyway, all started yelling, “YES! That’s IT! EUREKA! Let’s start Power Pointing a strategic initiative for the Entercom executives, like, right NOW, man!”

It’s the same old game. Make the ad money and garner the required ratings by fooling the kids. Good luck with your “experiment” KWOD. Really. I’ll be right here not listening.