Friday, October 30, 2009

HI! MY NAME IS IDGAF YAAS! I'M ON FACEBOOK! COME ON OVER AND HANG OUT.




Okay, they got me.

If you know me, or at least have been reading this blog for some time, you know that generally, I have a deep contempt for social networking sites. Personally, I find them to be downright boneheaded and generally wrong on so many levels.

I've managed to avoid much of a presence on MySpace.

I do believe that I now hold the record for most consecutive days with no followers on Twitter.

However, then I got a phone call from my good friend and co-conspirator, who let me know that I simply HAD to get on FUCKin' Facebook. Well, not in so many words. Actually, maybe yeah, now that I think about it, that is how he said it.

Anyway. I tracked down a few of my good friends who go back with me to close to a quarter century ago, and decided, fuck it, I'm going to be somewhat active on Facebook. Not that I prefer it over the other two aforementioned sites. On the contrary. To me, Facebook sucks just as bad. It doesn't load pages very well, the chat functions totally blow (and crash my browser more times than not), and, with no offense to my friends who think otherwise, I got sick of playing the games-that-really-aren't-games (eg "Mafia Wars") after about two days, if that long.

Still, I've settled into a role I like to call "Annoying Leftist Newsfeed Guy", since a lot of the publications that I read online anyway are available on Facebook and easy to link to my page.

Another thing which annoys me about Facebook is how they try to force everybody to use their legal birth name. I don't have any problem with my birth name, and anybody can easily find that online, along with my date of birth and birthplace, on the "Biography" section of my last.fm profile. It's just that, not only do a lot more people whom I'd want to find me know me as Michael Psycho, there's approximately umpteen hundred million Michael Warrens all over the planet, with God knows how many in Sacramento alone.

SO I tried using Michael Psycho. Facebook wasn't having it. Previously, I had complained about not being able to use the name, and got handed this line of horseshit via email:

Hi,

Facebook does not allow people to sign up with certain names that may be fake or associated with fake accounts. While we realize this verification method may prevent some people with legitimate names from initially registering, we feel this policy is currently the best method to prevent against malicious and fake accounts on the site.

We can help you sign up for an account, but we will need additional information. Please reply to this email with a scanned image or digital picture of a government-issued photo ID (e.g., driver's license) in order to confirm the accuracy of your name. Also, make sure you black out any personal information that is not needed to verify your identity (e.g., social security number). Keep in mind that we will permanently delete your ID from our servers once your name has been verified.

We apologize for the inconvenience, but you will be unable to sign up until you provide us with a scanned image of a government-issued ID. Please include all of our previous correspondence in your response so that we can refer to your original inquiry.

Thanks in advance for understanding this security policy,

Ursula
User Operations
Facebook


Ursula, I cordially invite you and the rest of the User Operations team at Facebook to fuck off. You are not the government, and I am not trying to use a credit card to purchase goods and services. If I am otherwise using Facebook in the manner which it is meant to be used, you have no business in Hell to be demanding that I use my birth name.

I was going to give up altogether, when suddenly inspiration struck and I decided to give it another go. I reactivated my account but instead of Michael Psycho, or Michael Warren, I came up with a brand new handle.

That name was... Idgaf Yaas.

Okay. I'll write that one more time.

Idgaf Yaas.

The name is an acronym, and it is intended to be a tribute to the nice folks who rejected "Michael Psycho" as my name on Facebook. It stands for:

I Don't Give A Fuck. You Assholes All Suck.

Facebook accepted the name.

So, dear friends, as of right now, Facebook is the place where you will find it easiest to reach me online. It is my online hangout, my street corner, my stoop. I'm positive that, if you are staring at a computer screen right now, you probably already have a Facebook page. So, especially to the readers of this blog, I invite you to come on by and make a friend request. Don't be shy. Although I like my tight knit lil' circle of seven or eight pals I've got since I joined a couple of weeks ago, you are always welcome. Just to make it easy on you, I've provided a link below. I look forward to seeing you. At least until Facebook kicks me out.

Click Here, Pilgrim
(Yes. I know. The link is dead. Read the update below.)


Update(1/30/10): So much for trying to be more social. This evening, I deactivated the account, so Idgaf Yaas is no longer a threat to the shivering denizens of Facebook any longer.

I simply got tired of the whole shebang. I had been thinking about walking away from this shit for a while now when something very interesting occurred today.

I was walking back from taking the trash to my dumpster when somebody seemingly familiar passed me in the courtyard of my apartment complex. I said hello, this person returned the greeting, and walked on by. There was no indication that either of us really recognized each other as any sort of acquaintance. When I noticed that a card for a local city council candidate was placed on my door, I put two and two together.

This was one of the folks who I didn't know personally, somebody I'd never met in my life, who had added me as a friend on Facebook! Rather then having my feelings hurt, I found the experience to be a rather, ahem, teachable moment. That's when I decided it was about high time to bring this noble personal social experiment to an end.

While it was nice to have tracked down a few folks from the past, ultimately, Facebook activity just seems like a tremendous waste of time. Time is pretty much the most valuable thing I have left nowadays. Also, I've increasingly grown to accept a basic belief that social activity is way overrated.

So to all of the true dear old friends that I ran into on Facebook, thanks for bringing back fond memories and I'm glad to see that we are all surviving and well. As for the rest of you: