SATAN: “GO FOR IT SACRAMENTO! GIVE KJ STRONG MAYOR POWERS! NYAHHAHAHAH!”

NINTH CIRCLE, HELL (Acme News Service) – This morning, Satan announced at his weekly strategy briefing here that he is endorsing the effort of Sacramento, California Mayor Kevin Johnson to give himself more power with a self-produced ballot initiative, which Johnson and his backers have proposed to be put forth in a special election to the city’s voters. The cost for the special election is estimated at 1.2 million dollars.

In expressing his support, Satan said: “That Kevin, he really makes me proud. After convincing all of those ignorant hicks in Sacramento to elect him, and after barely keeping the seat warm at his desk for ten days, he’s pushing for power, and after all, power over people is everything I’m about! That’s my boy! A chip off the ol’ block. Truly in the mold of my previous protégés, like (James Michael ) Curley, (Rudy) Giuliani, and (Kwame) Kilpatrick. I am truly impressed with this fellow. If I didn’t know any better, I’d rack my brains wondering if I’d impregnated his mom and forgot about it later.”

Satan went on to point out his personal opinion that in many ways, Johnson’s vision of Sacramento’s future, along with Johnson’s high-level supporters, are very much united with the CEO of Hell in kindred spirit. “Look. All these people want is a great place to party, where only the most greedy, vulgar, egocentric and materialistic pigs are going to be happy. Anyone with even an ounce of integrity would be completely shat upon or run out of town. What’s not for me to like about this strategy? I say, go for it Sacramento! Give KJ strong mayor powers! Nyahahahah!”

Mayor Johnson had no immediate comment on the endorsement, but in a hastily placed conference call to all of the local media outlets, Johnson spokesperson Steve Maviglio stated, “We are delighted that Satan has honored us with endorsing the Mayor’s efforts in this matter. Of course, the usual naysayers may complain that Satan has no business in giving his opinion since he’s not a local resident. We would point out that Mayor Johnson, as he has stated time and time again, wants to make Sacramento a world class destination city, and if that’s a city that Satan ends up wanting to visit frequently, then all the better.”

MY SONGS! ON MP3S! FOR FREE! COLLECT ALL 129!

So, yeah, I decided that since the economy is so fucked up and whatnot, that I'd give you, dear music aficionado, a chance to receive free music. Unfortunately, you'll have to settle for my own recorded work, because I can't afford licensing fees for anybody else's music.

In reality, I have been wanting to do this for quite some time now. I used to have all of these tracks available through a site called ACIDplanet, which Sony started up a few years back to promote its recording software.

I never really liked the fact that they made visitors register and join the site just to hear the songs with cuss words and besides, if you didn't notice the opt out check box, you could have been put on Sony's mailing list. And besides, I don't even use Sony Acid software, although their Vegas video editing program is fun to play with. Anyway, Now that I have my own site, it only makes sense to bring 'em all home where they belong.

So, feel free to download to your heart's content. If you have a NON-PROFIT radio program, whether on airwave or online, or a non-profit podcast or the like, you may play any of these tracks royalty-free.

HOWEVER, you may not sell, rent, cover or otherwise use any of these recordings, or songs or lyrics or any portion thereof, for commercial purposes without the express permission of either Black Hole Media Co. and/or myself.

I will be updating these recordings from time to time. What better place to let you know when that happens, than on this blog, RIGHT? After all, a record of site updates is what weblogs were originally created for, lest we forget.

That said, go have at it. Thank you for your appreciation of my favorite hobby. Now, get to downloading, go deaf and spread the word. Click Here, Pilgrim

P.S.- If you decide to stream songs, as opposed to downloading them, make sure that your computer's audio player is set to play .m3u files.

SURPRISE! DUBYA DOESN’T LIKE OBAMA’S NEW BAILOUT PROPOSAL! HOW SHOCKING!

Looks like our President-elect is wasting no time in going after our nation’s economic woes, as if that’s going to surprise anyone. He’s already met with a fairly large cadre of economic consultants to try and figure out how to address the current recession.

In an equally predictable move, Obama is proposing a “bottom up” stimulus package that would extend unemployment benefits and create job opportunities among other stuff. As usual, his initial descriptions are kinda vague but promising.

And in a just as unsurprising response, Lame Duck Executive Bush released a written statement saying,

Today, we received monthly job report numbers that reflect the difficult challenges confronting our economy. We are in the midst of a global financial crisis, and tight credit markets have made it harder for businesses to borrow the money they need to meet their payrolls, grow, and create new jobs.

The Federal government has taken aggressive and decisive measures to address this situation. It will take time for these measures to have their full impact on an economy in which many Americans are struggling. But in recent days, we have seen some encouraging signs. The market for lending between banks has loosened considerably, and the Federal Reserve’s efforts to stabilize the commercial paper market have provided businesses with an urgently needed source of financing for day-to-day operations.

In the weeks ahead, my Administration will continue working to return our economy to the path of prosperity and growth. I will continue urging Members of Congress to approve free trade agreements with Colombia, Panama, and South Korea, and I look forward to hosting an international financial summit with leaders of both developed and developing nations on November 15.

I understand that Americans remain deeply concerned about the challenges facing our economy, but our economy has overcome great challenges before, and we can be confident that it will do so again.

The Reader’s Digest Condensed version of this statement:

Fuck y’all. Obama’s not President yet, and I still am. I’m going to do what I’ve been doing for the past eight years and ignore working people and pander to businesses. And if that means supporting yet more measures that encourage outsourcing, imported labor and corporate tax breaks, so be it. Deal with it.

It’s actually about a great time to revive the likes of the WPA and CETA. You would think that folks like Mike Huckabee (who made “infrastructure” a buzzword of his campaign) would be stoked to be seeing a chance to create jobs to help rebuild America’s roads, bridges, schools and such. I’m sure that there’s a lot of folks who would reap tremendous rewards from the job experience and/or training, and the nation could benefit greatly from the possible improvements and restorations.

Of course, on the right side of the political street, this would involve private contracting with the special interests whose financial support help elect these pork-lovers-in-denial into office, lowest bidders be damned. That, of course, involves the usual legislative song-and-dance with earmarks and various representatives fighting over who gets how much aid and their district is more needy than anyone else’s and so on.

It’s about time that we have a President who is in touch with America’s economic realities. Even if Obama’s economic policy objectives aren’t met overnight, it’s good to see somebody in office who is trying to put the emphasis on those who need the assistance the most. Let’s hope that the days until January 20, 2009 fly by as soon as possible with as little damage inflicted by the (thankfully) outgoing Administration as possible.

WHAT A GREAT TIME TO BE AMERICAN

The majority of our nation's voters finally got it right.

What a great year. In June I got to vote for a woman for President, and today I helped to elect the first African-American President in history. It feels like such a great time to be alive, not just living in America.

Even if just for a short time, those of the power hungry and wealth hoarding, who have been trying to choke the life out of those of us who struggle to survive just to make ends meet every day, these people have had their agenda spurned. It is time to rejoice, it is time to feel pride and hope, but more importantly, it is time to keep moving and make the change that President-elect Obama (Gol! That feels so good to type!) has been talking about all of this time happen and keep happening once and for all.

Yeah. It is a great time to be American.

Now all the youth who helped elect this man. Listen up. It's time to stop cheerleading and time to roll up our sleeves and get to work. We won, now the hard part begins. It's time to make the hope accomplishment. You'd better not walk away and forget about it just because the election's over, because that would be no different than becoming apathetic and defeated like if McCain won. Let's do this. As the now legendary statement goes, the whole world is watching. Let's do this.

Oh, sure, it's kind of a bummer that the Republicans won the Sacramento mayoral contest, but on the other hand, it will be fun for this writer to use his blog to rip on "Mayor Cinderella" for four straight years (that is, unless KJ gets recalled or removed from office before then). I have a feeling that a Johnson administration will provide lots of great copy, though not much that Johnson or the stooges that were stupid enough to elect him will find flattering. In hindsight, the Sacramento Bee endorsement is beginning to make sense. They're bound to be selling lots more papers, as well as get more face time in the TV media over this guy. Snicker.

FARGO VS. JOHNSON: WHAT THE HELL, JUST VOTE YOUR CONSCIENCE. I’M PLANNING TO.

My mom’s side of the family were all Irish-American working class type folk.

My grandfather was a precinct worker for a guy named James Michael Curley, a legendary figure in Boston political history. Curley had a rather broad political career that included serving in Congress, as mayor of Boston (where he is best known in political history), and as Governor of Massachusetts. Curley holds the distinction of having served time while at the beginning of his political career (elected to the Boston Board of Aldermen while in prison) and in his last term as mayor doing five months in the Federal pen for mail fraud. Nevertheless, the working and poor folks loved Curley and he won several elections with their help. My grandfather, by the way, had a pretty decent little job in Boston's public works system thanks to his support of Curley. Ah, good old fashioned patronage.

Which is why I’m not pondering whether or not Kevin Johnson will succumb to the Bradley Effect as much as wondering if he will succeed due to the Curley Effect. No, I’m not comparing Johnson’s various allegations to Curley in magnitude, but the fact remains that despite Johnson’s image problems, a certain element of Sacramento’s populace seems willing to give him a free pass. However, in stark contrast to Curley, Johnson seems to be attracting the upper crust crowd of this city, or at least those who want to be perceived as such.

And that’s a big reason why I’m voting for Heather Fargo.

Frankly, I think that too many people who support Johnson are assholes. They are wealth worshipping, narrow minded, shallow elitist pigs who have some bizarre fantasy of turning Sacramento into Beverly Hills, North Annex with all the fellas driving around their silicone bosomed dates to tacky overpriced establishments designed to make everybody who patronizes them forget about how utterly meaningless their cash chasing material hoarding lives are.

Oh, and a new arena too. Yuh great.

Heather Fargo may not be the flashiest politician in the world, but at least she has enough experience not to fuck up the city the way that someone with all talk and no real ideas would do it, i.e. Johnson. A relevant hypothetical question could be: In the event of a levee break, whom would you rather see under that type of emergency as mayor?

It’s a shame that Steve Cohn, my local City Council member, is still bitter about losing his bid for the primary election that resulted in Fargo’s first term. He has personally embarrassed himself and the people of the district in which I live (and vote) by endorsing Johnson, who has basically installed himself as a sort of Brahmin of my neighborhood, having bought a penthouse on L Street.

It’s pathetic to see someone run for mayor simply because they have a grudge with the city government over their property issues. What’s even sadder is how Johnson’s run was originally spurned on by a guy named Bob Thomas, the former City Manager as well as Angelo Tsakopoulos, a guy who owns a lot of currently unused plot space in the north part of Sacramento. Both of these guys have major grudges against Fargo because she doesn’t share their lust for reckless development for maximum profit, among other particulars.

It just seems that a small handful of major league scumbags have manipulated so many voters in this town into possibly doing a very stupid thing come November 4th. I don’t plan on being one of those dupes. My conscience, as well as my common sense, will remain intact after this election regardless of who ends up winning. Will yours?

P.S. Michael Bloomberg, Charles Barkley, Warren Buffet et al - I have the vote here, not you. Don't try to tell me how to choose if you don't even live here.

HEY MCCAIN CAMPAIGN: IT IS SO TIME TO SHUT YER PIEHOLES ABOUT OBAMA AND ACORN

Hey, uh, next time you hear these idiots backing McCain start to yammer on about Obama and ACORN's registration fakes, enlighten them to the following article which I have linked for you, and then cordially invite them to go fuck themselves. Click Here, Pilgrim

THE 2008 PRESIDENTIAL DEBATES, FINAL EDITION: SOMEWHERE OUT THERE, JOE THE PLUMBER'S EARS ARE BURNING

Joe the Plumber may well have lost the election for John McCain after the third and final Presidential debate.

By the time that McCain had mentioned whom he had painted (with a big fat brush) as poor widdle potentially over taxed (if Obama gets elected) small business owner Joe for what seemed like the fourteenth time (and only about ten minutes or less into the debate) it seemed to this viewer that Obama had already won the evening. McCain came off as only representing small business owners who made the most money, with no real recognition of the people who work for said businessmen, or even most small business owners, for that matter.

Obama did well at letting McCain stew in his own juices and look like a politician with no real answers to the economic concerns of those who work to help the company owners and corporate czars make fat profits and performance bonuses, while labor receives less and less reward and security for their toil.

And what sealed the deal for Obama was when he managed to give his take on the McCain campaign's ad nauseum accusations against him in regards to his association with William Ayers and the ACORN voter registration fraud. Obama was able to give detailed and rational statements stifling the subjects of both Ayers and ACORN and made McCain look like a rambling online discussion board troll until Bob Schieffer moved on to the next question.

Later, when the subject was energy issues, McCain put me into a fit of near uncontrollable laughter when he suggested that one idea to fight dependence on foreign oil was to build 45 nuclear plants. Forty. Five. This is unequivocal proof that McCain is completely out of his fuckin’ mind. Hey, can we store all of the spent rods in Arizona? Or even better, put ‘em all in Wasilla, Alaska? I might just go for a policy like that!

And later, when the topic turned to health care, here we go with Joe the Fuckin’ Plumber again! There are millions of us out there who are one layoff or company closure away from losing our health care benefits, if we ever even had them to begin with. Under McCain’s health care proposal, Joe could take away everybody’s health plan, but whoopee! You could write off five thousand bucks on your tax return if you even find, much less can afford your own plan! Oh please.

There are more people out there in America than “Joe the Plumber”, and most of us are doing the actual work. And after tonight, it sure as Hell sounds like I wouldn’t want to be working for him. McCain makes Joe sound like a really selfish un-American asshole. Anybody who, while running a successful business, would shitcan employees simply because his tax bill went up is a real prick in my book.

If anyone who isn’t a millionaire and, having viewed this debate, is still going out and voting for the McCain/Palin ticket, that person is either seriously mentally ill or a complete and blathering idiot. But whom am I kidding? None of the goons who show up at the racetrack rallies and yell “Obama been lyin’!” “Terrorist!” and “Kill him!” are incapable of being too drunk to pay attention by that late in the evening anyway.

That’s why it’s important for those of us who know better to show up for the game and get those ballots turned in. It is crucial not to let the Old Man and the Sleaze, at the bidding of their racist, sexist, homophobic mob of ignorant followers, take control of the nation’s highest office.

TONIGHT, I'M GONNA PARTY LIKE IT'S 1929!

Oh, sure, the market's back. Look at that record uptick that happened! Nine-bloody-hundred plus points! Everything's gonna be just peachy now, right? See? The bailout really was the right thing to do, right?

Excuse me I need a moment to control my snickering...

Okay, thanks. Yeah, sure, what a comeback eh? America's back in business, baby!

Hey, can I show you something for a moment? Here's the latest one year graph of the Dow Jones through today's miraculous comeback, or bargain run, whatever the Hell it was...



Now let's take a gander at the days of old, or to be specific, the same approximate period of Octobers between 1928 and 1929...



Granted, there is a difference in the general flow, as in, back in '29 there was a vigorous rise and crash, whereas in 2007-08, things are just consistently suckin' more and more from a majestic peak, but note that the perky lil' "comeback" peak kicks in at the end of the period around the same time.

Everything goes in cycles, Pilgrim. I feel that it can be safely assumed that the upcoming 2009 trend will begin to parallel the period going into 1930, but I wouldn't recommend looking at that part unless you feel like getting your early Halloween spook on. Of course, if you're like me and don't really put any money into the stock market, it's merely entertaining. But admittedly, the past couple of weeks will be hard to beat in terms of cheap yuks.

THAT WACKY WALL STREET! HAVEN'T WE SEEN THIS SITCOM BEFORE?

Here's the story of a fucked up market
That's been going through a very ugly crash
The investors thought that they were in the money
Then banks ran out of cash
So they tried to blackmail Congress for a bailout
Said we're doomed, and headed for a credit crunch
But real soon, things went from bad to worsened
So now we hear whining from the Kudlow Bunch



The Kudlow Bunch
The Kudlow Bunch
They're so lame, it's insane
The Kudlow Bunch

2008 PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE, PART DEUX: HEY, MCCAIN, WHO THE FUCK IS “THAT ONE”?

Well, this debate was certainly different than the first one in at least a few ways.

From the gate, in the way that both candidates seemed to enter and greet each other, this viewer really got the impression that they both wanted to fuckin’ kill each other, but in a civilized, pre-chess match sort of way.

McCain finally got the much coveted “town hall” style forum that he was constantly whining about Obama having never agreed to in the early stages of the campaign. The format can be sort of interesting, that is, if your bag is watching ninety minutes of a couple of guys taking turns at going for their best Phil Donahue impersonation. McCain apparently feels that this is a folksier environment in order to try and fool Joe Sixpack into thinking that the Senator from Arizona and his political party even remotely give a shit about the working class.

The debate had occasional signs of possibly changing its format from Donahue into Dr. Phil with occasional mild verbal jabs between the two candidates. McCain insinuated that Obama was going to turn us all into the terrorists’ bitches, while Obama at another point accused McCain of picking up sick little kids and punting them out of hospitals like Shane Lechler on 4th and 20 at the Raiders’ three yard line.

In the first debate, Obama kept trying to cut in with “That’s not true” to certain parts of McCain’s statements and this time, he kept trying to ask for response times in a format in which both candidates agreed not to go over too much time, much less give responses. This is obviously not the wisest strategy, as the Senator from Illinois should realize that those of us watching the debate at home are smart enough to realize when McCain is full of shit without any outside help. Trust me, Senator Obama, we know that certain battleground states may be gullible enough to take your opponents statements at face value, but sometimes it’s best to just let him malinger from the reality and then we can talk about it at the water cooler or the bar or wherever.

McCain really bugged the shit out of me when, at one point, when making one more braggadocio about some vague piece of legislation that he wasn't supporting, he referred to Obama as “that one” who did support it.

By the way, my friends, I know you grow a little weary with this back-and-forth. It was an energy bill on the floor of the Senate loaded down with goodies, billions for the oil companies, and it was sponsored by Bush and Cheney.

You know who voted for it? You might never know. That one. You know who voted against it? Me. I have fought time after time against these pork barrel -- these bills that come to the floor and they have all kinds of goodies and all kinds of things in them for everybody and they buy off the votes.

I was so taken back by the terminology that I forgot what the Hell McCain was talking about. Not “this Senator”, not “this man”, not even “this person”, but “that one”. Uh huh, referring to your opponent as a thing, suggesting separation from yourself, with the inconvenient coincidence “that one” happens to be African-American. Yeah. Great form there. Ought to really galvanize the minority vote. For Obama. Oh yeah, I forgot. With the exception of maybe Don King and Marilyn Manson.

INTERESTING SIDE NOTE: If you think that my observation of McCain calling Obama "that one" could be dismissed as left-wing blogosphere overreaction, consider that Keith Olbermann made the same observation right after the debate, literally minutes after I finished writing this post.

CONGRESS PASSES BAILOUT, GETS ON SHORT BUS TO GO HOME

Okay, you got your bailout.

You bunch of fuckin' crybabies.

Daily, it seems that we, the constituents of our elected representatives, increasingly bear witness to the profound level of political retardation demonstrated by both houses of Congress. After the lower house rejected a completely useless waste of legislation on Monday, the Senate produced a much more bloated piece of shit bill with more more pork inside it than all of the past years' Best in the West Nugget Rib Cook-offs combined.

How does this historic act benefit the working people of America? Let me count the ways.

Yeah, that much.

Oh well, at least we can enjoy the relative peace and quiet from the Chicken Little alarmists finally shutting the fuck up and taking a nap or whatever they ended up suddenly running off to do. It's sort of eerie how, almost immediately after Dubya finished scribbling his signature, most of the doomsayers seemed to leave town immediately, possibly to enjoy what they felt was a well earned early weekend to unwind from all of the arm twirling and table pounding that they've been doing for five straight days.

And now everybody in both the executive and legislative branches get to pat each others backs over how hard they worked to get this monstrosity into law. The House of Representatives, for example, was in session for three whole days (counting the two off for the Jewish holiday)and the Senate had met almost as long! You just know that something taking that much time and effort is going to provide a permanent and lasting solution to all of those possible economic disasters that nobody can seem to agree will happen or not, right? And besides, now lines of credit are once again safe for humanity, and Main Street can drive itself into deep debt once again in an effort to provide an illusion that their families are much more wealthy than they really are.

At this point, let's think about that thar first big ol' stock market crash back in 1929, shall we? After that doozy of a market meltdown, the fact is that credit was actually quite stable and available. In reality, failed banks, disappearing jobs and an increased lack of consumer confidence contributed much more to the economic downturn of the 1930s than a credit crunch or investment failures. But don't tell that to Uncle Sam. He's too busy exchanging champagne bottle showers with his corporate lobbyist pals right now anyway, celebrating what is probably the largest extortion of public funds by private business in world history.

Make no bones about it. 2009 is shaping up to be a pretty fucked year. Batten down the hatches and buy nothing but necessities and what you're forced to replace when absolutely needed. Anybody who thinks that this bailout scam is going to benefit anyone except corporate pimps is going to be in for a pretty rude bitchslap from Inc.berg Slim when he shakes you down for his money, honey.

DAMN! I MISSED REVEREND BILLY!

Yeah, I decided to stay home and watched the Vice Presidential debate. And admittedly, Sarah Palin's performance was much more bizarre than Reverend Billy, and strangely, Palin was almost as funny, though devoid of actual facts, and very tragic in comparison. And besides, although I suppose that it would have been nice to have shown my support in person, the good Reverend would have been preaching to the choir anyway. I will be sure to catch him in the future, since I have a feeling that he's just starting to catch his good sailing wind in terms of getting his message across to the public at this point.

However, Pilgrim, as penance (and to demonstrate what you have missed down on 16th and Broadway as well,) I am embedding the full length version of What Would Jesus Buy? on my humble lil' blog for you to enjoy. Watch, Pilgrim, and then go and binge spend no more.

DEAR WALL STREET: BLACKMAIL IS SO GAUCHE

Well, looks like the financial world retaliated for Congress turning back on their promise to pay off the tab run up by the rotten decisions of the moneychangers by selling off assets quick like a bunny. Now they’re on to Act Two, where they’re jumping up and down and screaming about how nobody’s going to get credit anymore and small businesses are all going to shrivel up and Santa Claus isn’t going to show up for your family this year.

They’re basically pulling out a recitation of the full litany of all of the standard Chicken Little alarmist bullshit, to which I feel that there is only one adequate reply.

Fuck all of the dumb shit.

I’m sick and tired of seeing the pundits and mouthpieces of Wall Street trying to blackmail the United States government by trying to conjure up a tornado of paranoia in order to force them into paying up for what in all foreseeable circumstances would be a pile of utterly worthless mortgage-backed securities, in which winking Congressional leaders suggest that we may even make the money back, though they can’t guarantee it, predict how much we could make back, or even determine exactly who “we” are.

Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson looked absolutely hysterical at a post-Congressional vote press conference (which was also being held after the Dow Jones closed with the largest loss in history.) Paulson wailed, seemingly desperate to anyone with ears to hear, “We need to work as quickly as possible…We need to put something back together that works,” somehow avoiding the tacking of a “GodDAMNit!” at the end of the sentence.

He also sounded almost surreal when he stated, “Our banking system has been holding up very well, considering all of the pressures.” Uh, sure. Consider, if you will, that Washington Mutual and Wachovia, along with other financial institutions, have been going down the shitter in the past few weeks alone. If that’s what’s considered as “holding up very well”, then hey, I’m living the life of an award winning scholar, considering that I only have a high school diploma! Hey, I’m gonna start applying that observational style in more areas of my life, starting, like, todaaaay man!

I wouldn’t exactly paint the majority of dissenting Republicans who voted against the initial bailout legislation as working class heroes either. They’d be more than happy to grab backpacks, fill them with fresh currency straight from the U.S. Treasury, and hop on the next Amtrak leaving D.C. for New York City to deliver the loot directly to the robber barons in person. No, the issue here, as usual, is too much government regulation would be mandated, and God knows we can’t have any of that pesky oversight stuff getting in the way of what they probably still insist is a fundamentally sound economy behind closed doors with their big business lobbyist homies. So no medals for these self-styled mavericks. If anything, they deserve a flaming bag of shit in front of each and every one of their office doors.

And the Democrats are looking pretty fucked up in this whole fiasco as well.

“Look, nobody liked this bill.”
(Rep. Chris Van Hollen, D-Maryland, on MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow Show)

Then why the fuck did anyone even vote in favor of it, much less put it to a vote?

It should be painfully obvious by now that perseverance over the potential collapse of the economy, if that collapse even has a chance of happening, is going to be accomplished by winning a marathon and not a sprint. Adding muddy regulatory water to an insta-quick cake mix of a bailout package and bum rushing it to Dubya’s desk isn’t going to resolve anything, except perhaps for the folks holding all of those possibly worthless piles of mortgage-based securities hoping to dump them on the taxpayers for a few hundred billion fistfuls of dollars.

It is my hope and prayer that true working people all over this country are neither swayed nor terrified by all of this hubris oozing out of what seems like every pore of every government official and financial “expert” in the country right now. If the proletariat of this country has shown anything time and time again, it’s resilience in times of crisis. As for those of you living beyond your means, too bad, you’re part of the problem anyway, so smile and eat it.

But for those of us who live within our means, no worries, it’s going to be alright. Keep your FDIC-insured money in the bank. Keep driving the same old car and keep it well maintained. Go to work and try to save a little of your paycheck. Keep renting, unless you really, really love that new house, you have about twenty five percent cash down, and plan not to sell it for about twenty years. Above all, let the power fall and it’s okay to be a little smug in these times. Oh, sure, sooner or later some kind of bribe will be paid off to the robber barons to loosen up the credit again, but in the meantime, fear not, for this is our time to breathe easy and relax while the addicts of the trough get put on a forced diet for awhile.

THE BAILOUT PROPOSAL: CORPORATE WELFARE, BUT THIS TIME WITH CASEWORKERS

I'm sure glad that I'm a speed reader when I have to be. After skimming through the current 110 pages of the discussion draft for the pending bailout legislation, here's what I find interesting (that is, if this shit gets passed in total):

1. Looks like we're going to be hearing and seeing the term "TARP" (Troubled Asset Relief Program) a whole Hell of a lot for the next few weeks or so. It does have a kind of New Dealish ring to it.

2. There's going to be a whole bunch of committees and commissions and bureaus created with a whole bunch of new appointed positions available to provide oversight and regulatory enforcement and all that stuff that governments like to do to try to convince the public that they are doing something good with their tax revenues.

3. In my own layman's opinion, the Secretary of the Treasury still has way too much juice in regards to how this whole bailout process is going to operate.

4. There's yet one more Special Inspector General position being created and with a little luck, since it's a Presidential appointment maybe this can stall out until January 20. If McCain somehow gets elected, however, my wishing defeats the purpose.

5. The statutory debt limit is being increased to just over eleven trillion dollars, which at this point, if that doesn't make the public debt limit meaningless, aw Hell, nothing will.

6. It seems like renters of properties owned by landlords who are holding failed mortgages will be protected from unfair eviction, but it's pretty thin language, so how effective this protection would be remains to be determined.

7. As for the supposed crackdown on fat CEO severance packages- same as point number 6.

8. There's going to be yet one more Congressional oversight panel to be created to have meetings, and by the way,

"Each member of the Oversight Panel shall each be paid at a rate equal to the daily equivalent of the annual rate of basic pay for level I of the Executive Schedule for each day (including travel time) during which such member is engaged in the actual performance of duties vested in the Commission."

Yeeeah boyee. Mo' money, mo' meetings. That's how we DO it on Cap Hill, G!

Yeah, I predict that, in the end, this act will accomplish... well close to fuckin' nothing, actually. But, hey, the nation's conscience will be cleared. Maybe. After all, we've got to do something, and gosh darn it, we sure did! Now, let's get this thing passed, and signed, and get right into those meetings that look great on C-SPAN!

But don't just assume that I know what I'm talking about. Read some of this stuff yourself, especially if you've got a couple of hours to kill. Click Here, Pilgrim

EXCLUSIVE! NAKED PIC OF THE TWIN SOUP LADIES! (WELL, A LINK AT LEAST)

You know, with all of the crappy things going on with the economy and whatnot lately, I think that it's high time for me to write about lighter, more contemporary and purely entertaining subjects for a minute.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, there's a lot of buzz and whatnot about the local blogvertising site twinsoup.com. They've become local media darlings, with a decent sized pile-up of Establishment Media ass-kissing. David Watts Barton wrote in Sacramento Magazine recently:

TwinSoup, one of the prettiest, best-organized blogs in town, is the brainchild of 28-year-old twin sisters Sarah and Rachel Campbell, who live in the Sierra Oaks area and work in real estate. They started their blog because, as locals who spend a lot of time shopping and eating out, they’ve earned reputations as girls who know where to go.

Which is exactly what they write about on this well-designed site. Regular features like Fab Find of the Week and Sacramento Weekend Quickie are short, sassy and informative. The sisters blog about everything from the current peace-sign fashion craze to their favorite places to go on Second Saturday.

Now, honestly, this twinsoup.com thing may not be for me, but blogvertising (niche or consumer culture related blogging designed to draw people who spend money and thus drive up, for example, Google AdSense revenue, which I plan to avoid doing on this blog, like, forever, man) is so commonplace that it's considered perfectly acceptable behavior by many elements of the netizen mainstream. So I don't really have an opinion either way about the site, other than it has zero percent of what I'd consider on a personal level to be interesting content.

Something that most people out there may not realize, however, is that Sarah and Rachel Campbell didn't just pop up out of the blue and become overnight blog sensations after only six months of operation. No, they had a bit of recognition in the past but it had nothing to do with print media.

You see, Sarah and Rachel share something in common with Tila Tequila, other than fame achieved through online self-promotion. In 2002, the twins were selected as Playboy's Cyber Girls of the Week (and as a Wikipedia article points out, the first co-winners). I'm not sure why the ladies don't seem to mention this very prominently in their site's "About" page but if anything the, erm, exposure would give them some cosmopolitan hipster cred, and you would think that it would be some sort of added advantage, right? And besides, there's a bit of deja vu here locally (longtime KCRA personality Kristine Hansen was a September 1974 Playmate of the Month) so it's not like there's any career threatening scandal here.

Anyway, I'm sure that, with the rising recognition of the twins in the local media scene, a lot of fellas (and perhaps also some of the gals) out there would like to get a look at Sarah and Rachel in their, um, most revealing perspective yet. So I'd like to help you out by providing a link to this page about the Campbells. In the wide, wide world of the Internet I'm sure that this information has been shared somewhere, so it's not like I've got the scoop on anything, so what the fuck, why not share in on the fun?

Be forewarned: This link is most definitely Not Safe For Work, or your spouses/children/various members of certain clergy, for that matter.
Click Here, Pilgrim

THE FIRST DEBATE: MISSISSIPPI'S BURNING (WITH BOREDOM NOW)

The only opinion that I could come up with about the opening Presidential candidates' debate was that both participants seemed to rather suck at debating.

Obama hasn't lost my vote, but I just wish that he would have stopped opening his counterpoints by agreeing with McCain so damn much. Actually, I take that back. Obama was doing something far worse by saying, what felt like about sixteen dozen times, "John is right about this," "John is right about that." When you say, "I agree that (fill in the subject your opponent was just discussing here)..." what happens is that you are keeping yourself at the ideological level of the opposition, and can keep yourself in a position to extend that statement with why you think that the other guy's opinion is fucked. But when it's "You are right about..." even once in the course of a debate, that's when you're giving a concession of ability to your opponent and can give an audience the impression that you're merely chiming in with what he or she just said. Obama should have had enough practice through the numerous primary debates in order to avoid such a sophomoric mistake.

And the other major mistake Obama made: breaking in during McCain's accusations by saying stuff along the lines of "That's not true" mid-McCain rant. When you break into your opponents turn to speak like that, it's the equivalent of those courtroom TV shows and cable news programs where the person in one of the opposite boxes of the split screen is shaking his or her head while someone else is stating their case. Nobody is being swayed by such behavior and it's only a useless distraction. Just be patient and wait your turn to tell McCain he's full of shit. We already have witnessed both his running mate and himself engaging in questionable honesty, so there's no need to protest so desperately.

On the other hand, I was waiting for McCain to tell Obama "Hey, you lil' rugrat, get the fuck off of my lawn!" It seemed like McCain's main strategy walking into the hall was to try to belittle Obama's world view with saying how he "just doesn't understand" at the beginning of every turn he had to speak. McCain's new BFF, David Letterman, used to have a frequent guest on his old NBC show, a comedian named George Miller, and I recall that as Miller would enter the show and walk up to Letterman's desk, the words "Desperately searching for a gimmick" would blink at the bottom of the screen. If McCain ever has the cojones to reschedule his appearance on The Late Show, Letterman should flash the same phrase. McCain's desperate gimmick was to state that Obama "just didn't understand" seemingly anything and everything that Obama had just said. The only thing that McCain accomplished with this tactic was convincing people that he himself did not understand why, the more he kept saying this type of shit, the more clueless he himself sounded.

In all, the opening debate was a dud in that if you had already formulated your opinion about either candidate, you had not really been either encouraged or discouraged about your views, and if you were undecided, you were still in that state of voter limbo, if not apathy. But who am I kidding? Nobody under the age of 45 was actually watching this 90 minute non-stop gabfest, since it was Friday night in America, when most folks are out getting drunk and trying to get laid and all that. The only time that they'll pay any real attention is if they stay away from the polls on Election Day, while McCain's age peers do show up and overwhelmingly elect him, and he promptly generates enough public support to convince Congress to reinstate the draft. Then those hedonistic little flakes'll be sorry.

But, these debates truly bring out the inner politigeek in folks like myself, so despite my disappointment, I'll be watching and hope that things move up a notch and improve.



And one more thing... hey McCain, try looking at Obama once in a while when he is speaking. When you're all scrunched up and turned away like you're trying to avoid eye contact it almost gives the impression to the viewer that you're scared of looking at black people or something. But then again, many of your supporters out there in so-called Mainstream America may appreciate that.

IT'S OFFICIAL. THE U.S. GOVERNMENT IS WALL STREET'S BITCH.

So let me get this straight. Socialism is the enemy of Wall Street, until the stock market fucks up, and then it's perfectly acceptable. Hey, who would have thought that Dubya would get so desperate that he'd turn to state intervention and government assumption of private debt. Marx, Engels AND Lenin would be impressed, not to mention a tad jealous perhaps.

But anybody who has actually read the stuff of Marx and Engels knows that this isn't some noble program to improve the greater good of the common weal. It's a scared-ass desperate attempt to placate the moneychangers of the world financial marketplace and to drop a gift marker to extend their incredibly reckless losses. On top of that, the Bush Administration is recommending that we pick up all of the losses by buying up these distressed mortgages that never should have been (legally?) allowed to be approved in the first place, and according to some outside experts the cost when the smoke clears will approach a trillion bucks American.

Oh but we're going to crack down on these scofflaws, or as Dubya said recently, "Anyone found engaging in illegal financial transactions will be caught and persecuted..." (Cool! Point me to the pile of rocks! I wanna help to stone some short scammers too!) How convenient that he is taking such a noble and get-tough stance about 122 days before he hands the keys to the White House over to his successor! Gee, we just can't wait to see all of this reform legislation which will prevent investment abuses leading to near economic collapses like this from ever happening again. What I really mean is, we can't wait as in we shouldn't wait, as in our time would be less wasted waiting outside of our homes for magical stray dogs that will shit gold bricks at our curbs.

Those of us who are merely doing all of the actual work and providing the liquid assets for these fuckers to piss away at will are going to continue dealing with skyrocketing cost of living increases, disappearing jobs and general lowering of opportunity and general standards, and we bear this cross for the sins of the wealthiest ten percent of the population which owns seventy one percent of the wealth. But hey, our tax dollars are letting rich people do whatever the fuck they want with no recourse! And what's more, they won't be able to wreck everything all over again until at least a couple of years from now! Maybe! Doesn't that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

KARL ROVE'S WEIRD-ASS PERSONAL DAMAGE CONTROL SCHTICK

There was a rather pointed criticism of the McCain media strategy on one of the Sunday news shows:

“McCain has gone in his ads one step too far, and sort of attributing to Obama things that are, you know, beyond the 100 percent truth test.”

This wasn't a Democratic strategist, however. This was Karl Rove speaking, on wouldja believe of all broadcasters, Uncle Rupe's one and only Fux News Network.

To read the words in plain text, the observation doesn't seem too earth-shattering, as a matter of fact it looks almost sort of wishy-washy in its sentiment. But actually seeing Rove speaking these words, if you know him like most of us old enough to have voted in 2000 know him, is truly a surreal moment. And about three seconds later or so, you're scratching your head and saying, "Wait a minute, something is definitely going on here." At least that's what I was thinking.

So what's the deal, Mr. Rove? Hearing somebody with the reputation as the man who (ha, ha, allegedly) brought you the Plame Affair talking down on his party's presidential nominee like this is to be taken with a grain of salt. Oh Hell, just take it with the whole freshly opened cylinder of Morton's.

This is like if Tex Winter went forward to the press after Game 4 of the 2008 NBA Finals and was saying, "You know what? That triangle offense is completely useless, and Phil Jackson never should have ever put it into the playbook." Perhaps Mr. Rove is reading the writing on the wall and realizes that the bump caused by Schlafly of the Arctic's surprise appearance isn't going to last through November. The G.O.P. can't keep up this mantra of bullshit sound bites on the campaign trail without enough of the electorate (hopefully) waking up and smelling it sooner or later. And besides, it's not like Karl Rove was on very friendly terms with the Senator from Arizona to begin with, anyway.

SPECIAL NOTE FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO ARE A LITTLE SLOW, AND DON'T GET THE "ROVE WITH LIPSTICK" GRAPHIC

For those of you who are confused or puzzled about why I put lipstick on Karl Rove in the previous blog post, here is the full context of the remarks by Obama which has got all of the Republicans with their panties in a bunch.*

"John McCain says he's about change too and so I guess his whole angle is watch out George Bush, except for economic policy, health care policy, tax policy, education policy, foreign policy, and Karl Rove style politics, we're really going to shake things up in Washington. That's not change, that's just calling the same thing something different. But you know you can't, you know you can put lipstick on a pig, it's still a pig."

*Now the McCain campaign is going to accuse me of sexist remarks as well.

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH OBAMA'S COMMENT...

Whadaya mean, he wasn't talking about Rove? Not so fast there, kids. Don't jump to conclusions so quickly.

WILT THOU TARRY, SACLIGHTS.COM?

Today, I was reading an interesting statement on SacLights.com:

SacLights is no longer being updated by the SacLights staff. Unfortunately, we can’t keep this project advancing the way it needs to, and thought the end of summer was the best time to make a clean break. The site will remain available through the end of September, so you can save any content you have contributed. We will also be providing a list of resources to help you keep up on what’s going on in Sacramento.

The site producer's brief message concludes by thanking someone/everyone for all of the support for the past several months and implies that operations in general at SacLights.com are coming to a screeching halt. Just one more economic bloodletting in the Shakesperean corporate tragedy that is McClatchy, perhaps?

After all, nobody could have predicted the eventual downfall of SacLights.com. Oh, yeah, they could have. Click Here, Pilgrim

THE G.O.P. CONVENTION REALLY INSPIRED ME... TO HATE REPUBLICANS

Yes sir, I was moved and inspired by the Republican Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates' speeches over the past two evenings.

I was moved and inspired to vote for Obama and Biden this November. Other than that, I got pretty pissed off. I can't help it. My natural reaction to fear is to recycle it into anger.

These folks is purty gosh darn scary. If this were, say, just another Christopher Guest mockumentary, I would have been enjoying the laugh-fest and marveling at the performances of Tina Fey as Palin, Guest as McCain, and of course, the unforgettable cameo appearance by the irascible Fred Thompson as himself. Unfortunately, this was reality TV at its very worst, and when this viewer pauses to contemplate the fact that the old codger has a chance of getting elected with the possibility of Schlafly 2.0 being only a heartbeat away from a job in the Oval Office, it's not a pleasant thought, to say the very least.

Oh, sure, normally I take both party conventions with a grain of salt, and even though the Democrat keynotes were pretty impressive and riveting, I wasn't exactly riled up and ready to go out and set McCain lawn signs on fire. On the other hand, seeing how the other half lives certainly made my mind up.

After witnessing the spectacle of seeing an entire arena of people who would seem to be willing to support the opening of concentration camps for Iraq War critics, gay married couples and pro-choice activists if only that pesky Constitution could only be suspended or repealed or something, I am turning into somewhat of a person of religious values myself. I will be praying a lot over the next several weeks that the American electorate isn't stupid enough to buy into this complete bill of horseshit that the McCain campaign is trying to sell of "reform" (which means the same fucked up policies of the Bush Administration, except it will now be the fucked up policies of the McCain Administration) and Trojan Horse platitudes like “Education is the civil rights issue of this century" (which in McCain's case, dealing with this so-called civil rights issue involves giving parents school vouchers while making every attempt to gut and underfund public education).

Obama may lack experience but I'm convinced that, especially with Joe Biden hopefully in the role of a working Vice President, he wouldn't fuck up the country in the way that the Dubya Regime has for the past eight years. Some people are suckers for punishment and wouldn't mind giving McCain the chance to extend that miserable agenda for four to eight more. Nah, who am I kidding? Citizen masochism has nothing to do with it. A McCain win would only prove that most people are just plain idiots. I hope that for once, just this once, enough people who are mentally competent enough to spell their name and tie their shoes show up at the polls this time and don't make the same mistake thrice.

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 31 (CONCLUSION)

Today, on the first day of the week as well as the last day of the month, I woke up. I called my friend in Oregon and made my bed. Then I walked to Safeway for my weekly grocery run.

After putting away my groceries, I ate a couple of muffins with my morning coffee and watched the news on TV. The only subject of which was seemingly being reported was the evacuation of the Gulf Coast area because of the oncoming hurricane. Then I switched back and forth between two baseball games because the Giants were playing on one channel and the Red Sox were playing on the other.

After coffee, I was going to shave but changed my mind because I had Monday off and wasn't going to work for another two days, so fuck it, that was one routine that could be put off for now. It was Capitol Park's turn for my weekly go round, and the wind had kept the afternoon temperature much lower than it had been through all of the middle of the week, when it was hitting a high of over one hundred degrees each day.



I'm not sure if too many folks who've managed to retire from "urban camping" get to pass their old sites very often after they get off the streets, but that tends to happen to me more often than not. On my walk around Capitol Park, I pass a relatively nondescript area which served as a place to sleep, eat, read, write and otherwise provide a refuge, albeit not a very private one, from the constant migration required by the average homeless person thanks to the efforts of law enforcement and property owners and the like to keep said transients from sullying up the desired aesthetic purity necessary to impress shoppers and restaurant patrons from the suburbs and their money.

I look at those places today and can't help but realize that I have come a long way from where I was, even though currently I'm nothing but a working class stiff when the truth be told. When I actually was tramping through the streets of this city, I had no idea what I would become, much less any idea at all what the future would hold in envisioning any sort of clear picture of what lay ahead for me. I know what I liked doing, but I never had any sort of passionate desire to rise up or excel at anything in particular, even what I love doing the most. I never wanted a family, or lots of nice expensive things, or even a home of my own. I only wanted to be happy for just that day.

And you know what? I still feel that way today. For example, this weekend I had what many people, especially in today's technologically advancing, thrill seeking, material obsessed society, would consider to be a dull, uneventful and unremarkable 2 days of living. But in my estimation, I wouldn't trade those 2 days for anything. I was in control of all of my time, I was artistically creative, and I enjoyed my freedom and everything was all right.

No, everything isn't perfect in my life nowadays, but the universe itself isn't perfect either. No one who learns sees a perfect world, because if they did there would be no ability to continue to think about how to make even good things better. I am grateful to that universe for all of the experiences and wisdom it has given me, even (and especially) for the shitty stuff because without it I would not know what the good in this world truly is.

Back when I was living with a rather large household in South Sac about fifteen years ago, there was a guy living there who was 81 years old, and he would always end the various tales he'd tell us of his past experiences with the statement, "Yes, I've lived a full life. No regrets." Well, I can't say that I've gone 45 years without regrets, but on the other hand, each day that I awake nowadays, those regrets become more and more insignificant and have no bearing on the big picture that grows and becomes more and more complex in its full story.

I believe now that I need to take more evaluation into my own life, and a good way to do it is to measure it by the year, month, and even the week getting so exact as to contemplate each day briefly at its end. I have learned over time that the future does not depend wholly on the past and the now does not have to be dependent on either. I will try to remember from now on that time is the most valuable asset I have, and accomplishment, happiness and even simply the state of being are all simply residing inside it. I can't wait to see what lies ahead, both in this plane of existence and the next.



(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 30

God damn it! I just ran out of deodorant again! It's really not that big of a deal since I have a replacement in the cabinet, but I had just bought four of these fuckers in what seems like a pretty short time ago.

Once upon a time, I didn't bother with putting anything in my armpits at all, since I'm one of those guys who sort of enjoys regular daily showers and clean clothes and shit like that. However, that all changed about three years ago thanks to some fuckwad at my place of employment.

One bright and sunny morning, I was called into a private conference with my supervisor. At the time I was working at a call center and the workstations were in pretty close quarters. My supervisor informed me that he needed to advise me to pay strict attention to my personal hygiene. At the same time, he mentioned that neither the manager of the department or himself had any problem with me whatsoever. Translated, I had taken this to mean that someone was just trying to be an asshole and harass me. Later, my department manager had mentioned yet another complaint, but also pointed out that the person sitting behind me to my left was being complained about as well. In other words, he was trying to make it obvious as to who was doing the complaining, and in a kind of outside way, help me to pinpoint who was doing the actual complaining.

Fortunately, the person who I suspect was making the accusations is no longer working for the company. Regardless, I now have enough paranoia vested inside my mind to use de-stink product in my underarms daily. Thanks, fucker. Maybe I can take you to Small Claims Court and collect harassment damages for all of the anti-perspirant I've been blowing my hard earned dollars over for the past 36 months.



(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 29

Today, I was really thinking about shit.



I tend to be a pretty regular guy. This morning, just before leaving for work, I had my bowel movement at the usual time, just before eight AM or so. My digestive waste logs were not too dark, but a sort of charming rustic brown and surprisingly compact to almost a model of the pre-Big Bang universal mass, and with a weight capable of sinking it to the deepest depths of the toilet bowl.

Later, in the evening just before dinner, I had an encore of sorts, with the second resulting product of the same color and consistency as the first, but notably smaller than the opening act.



Although I never get very concerned about the nuances of my daily excremental output, sometimes I get frightened at the size, and fret as to whether or not my drains will be clogged by a particularly large load. Fortunately, I have never had any such problems and unlike some folks, I tend to be very conservative with my bathroom tissue use, though not to the point of failing to maintain a clean and hygienically pleasing asshole.

In a serendipitous way, I am lucky to have such a cramped apartment to live in. I can keep an ample supply of toilet paper literally right next to me as I sit. In the the event that my supply at hand empties, I can simply reach over for a fresh new roll, thus avoiding an awkward walk to a location with my pants down, searching for a replacement.



(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 28

You know, sometimes I think that I have too many shoes, and then I realize that I'm thinking that way because I only have two feet.

I tend to favor comfortable shoes as I get older that seem to expand in size as the years go by. I could have sworn that I had once upon a time been able to fit in size tens, but now I can't seem to be happy with anything other than a size eleven or at least ten and a half. I probably liked going to thrift stores more often back in the time and saw size tens that looked cool and figured that even if my feet got fucked up, at least I was stylin'.



Airwalks tend to be my favorite of late, even though I don't skate. I just like the combination of the comfortable fit and the lower price. They do tend to be flat soled, however, and flat soles will tend to fuck up my heels and arches if I walk too much in them.



For example, as much as I love my black Converse All Stars, when I wore my "Chucks" to San Francisco for three days, where I tend to hike around the (very hilly) city a lot, my feet paid the price dearly. My blisters developed blisters and my dogs were in some considerable pain for at least a couple of days after I returned home.



What I really should have worn to S.F. were a pair of my New Balance cross trainers, as those are the shit. I have a pair that I use for my weekly round-the-park walks and if I'm going by foot on errands and such. I have another pair of the exact same type (608) that I only wear indoors for the treadmill, and I've had those for close to four years now, and because I only use them on the rubberized track surface, they are still seemingly close to new. I must say from personal experience that NBs tend to last longer than any brands I've bought lately, and I even have an old pair of walking shoes that I still use to take out the trash and go on short walks around the corner to the store when I need to.

I don't have too many dressy shoes anymore, at least none that I wear too often. Dress shoes tend to be the ones that fuck up my feet the most so I tend to avoid them nowadays. I also have a pair of what you may call "dress sneakers", a pair of Reebok Classics that I haven't even worn outdoors for a single day yet. Ah, well, sooner or later I may get to wear them for some special occasion, like maybe if I'm hanging out with Scarlett at an Obama rally or some shit like that.



(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 27

Well, some of you folks like to put money into those there kooky 401(k)s and IRAs and the like but as for me, my financial future hinges upon a two dollar per week investment in the California Lottery Potential Fund.



I buy only one ticket per drawing, and there are 2 weekly drawings of the Super Lotto Plus game. I don't fuck around with the Mega Millions numbers because the odds are that somebody in another state is going to win on top of all the players here in California. Each time, I pick the same numbers, briefly plot out how I'm going to tell my employers that I'm quitting, and then every Wednesday and Saturday confirm that, once again, I have a losing ticket and will have to keep showing up at work.



In reality, I just buy the ticket and more often than not forget to even check the winning numbers until days or sometimes weeks later. I usually don't care that much about losing either, although I don't really get the idea pitched by the lottery's ad campaign that playing is somehow "fun" to do. I'm just trying to turn one dollar into at least several million, and at that point, I'll buy my own fun, thank you very much.

(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 26

Y'know, sometimes I say to myself, "I have too many hats." Then I realize that I am bald and say, "What the fuck would I think that for?"

Yeah, I guess if anybody asked me if I collect anything, I would say that hats are the closest thing to collecting something for me nowadays. I don't think I have that many right now, although I'd guess that I have about two dozen or so. I keep thinking that I am going to go out and buy some more, and extend my variety of choices past ball caps, but I haven't.



The plain black ball cap has been the style I've usually been wearing almost every day. I keep an older fucked up one for when I haven't showered yet or I'm going to be doing something that requires a bit of a sweat, and I have a newer and much cleaner one for normal wearing when my scalp is clean. I don't wear too many team caps anymore, but my neighbor gave me a Red Sox cap that he passed along from someone else.



I do have one hat that I like to wear frequently that isn't a ballcap style and that's a fairly old but durable Pendleton that I bought at the old Joe Sun store on K Street. I like wearing it when I want to be casual but a bit neater in appearance. In wet weather, I sometimes will put on this kinda goofy looking fishing style brim hat that I like to pull down low like that dude who used to be in that band with the chick who played Edith Bunker's niece in All In the Family.


I don't have too many formal hats, but I do have a top hat that ended up in this kooky music video I made once, and I also like to kick it occasionally in my Royal Stetson (pictured in the upper right corner of my blog page). But I also have a kind of outlaw lookin' leather concho that would fit right in, whether I'd be at a honky tonk or a Motorhead show.



Otherwise, I don't go out that much anyway nowadays, so hats have become less of a big deal to me. As a matter of fact, I don't think I had worn my wool watch cap for a single day last winter. Ah, well, I guess that's for the better, seeing as, especially when accompanied by a pair of shades, I look like I should be featured on Crime Alert or some shit.



(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 25

After my "early" Monday (less than two hours of overtime) I took a stroll over to the Sacramento Natural Foods Co-Op. I usually don't shop there very often except for some odds and ends, and in this case, I was running out of my supply of bath soap and they're the only store near where I live that sells Dr. Bronner's Magic Soap ("All-One!")



Of course, I use Dr. Bronner's not only for the fact that it's all natural and not only does a great job as a bath soap, but also I'm greatly impressed by the fact that its inventor was completely fuckin' nuts, coupled with the fact that over two million bottles are put out by four or five people with like, no automation. On top of those reasons, someone I used to work with put it best when she mentioned that one advantage to using Dr. Bronner's was that it's nice to have something to read in the shower.



(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 24

Today is Sunday, and the weather's warm, which means that I'm shaving today. Usually, unless there's something special or formal of which I feel the need to shave for, I usually only go for it once a week. I mean, usually during the week, the most important thing that I'm doing is working, so why bother otherwise?




I'm one of those guys who you'll see out and about around Sacramento with a shaved head, so my needs for equipment tend to be a bit more sophisticated than folks who just run a razor over their faces alone. I need a decent electric shaver, and I also need blades that are in good shape, because otherwise I'll have patches of stubble and fucked up burn marks in a lot of parts of my scalp. I brush all of the inner parts of my shaver out very meticulously, and as a result I tend to save a lot of wear and tear on my blades, not really needing to replace them but for every other year or so.



After a good thorough go-over with the shaver, I coat a decent amount of aloe vera on my head and other affected areas and I'm good to go. Luckily, a lot of my hair has fallen out and what's left is very soft because I only need to dump the whisker catch into the toilet and flush it away. If it can handle big ol' shits that people take, obviously it would have no problem with pulverized hair particles.



(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 23

Today, I was reflective, though certainly not nostalgic, about a former residence I had near 21st and Capitol. It's a big, flat empty lot now, and no, there wasn't any buildings there, at least not in 1991 when I was "urban camping". It had a number of trees and shrubs in the back half of the lot, the end which was to the alley between Capitol and L Streets.

Most of the time, I would stay up for the night and end up passing out for a few hours during the day in Capitol Park. There were some pretty sketchy fuckups who liked to wander around at night, and if they were going to try to mess with me, I figured that at least they'd have to attempt to take me out while I was awake.

When I felt like actually getting some evening shuteye, I had a certain spot over at Capitol and 21st right under some shrubs, and would cover myself with a large old section of canvas completely, so that I'd look like a collection of yard work waste all bundled up, and usually cops and the like would pass me by. A few times, I would be woken up the next morning by a leaf blower going off a few inches away from my head. I was sort of grateful though, because they would roust me up before 8 AM, and that's when Francis House would start serving the donated coffee and leftover pastries.

Francis House has been around since 1970. It's a resource and counseling center run by a sort of convoluted partnership between a bunch of local churches and the community. Back before the area over by 17th and Capitol got turned into State of California department buildings and the like, Francis House shared an area with the Central Downtown Food Basket. My usual routine was to go to Francis House on weekday mornings to hang out in a hassle-free area, and once a week after coffee and what amounted to my breakfast I'd go next door to the Food Basket and get a bag of groceries that I could pretty much stretch for the following week.

One morning, I was sitting there drinking my coffee and reading an old copy of the New Yorker when two Sacramento Police patrolmen entered the area and circled sorta vulture-like around me for a while. They then politely asked me to step outside with them and informed me that I was getting a ride downtown to have a little chat at the PD headquarters. I found out in the interview room from the detective that I was suspected in a homicide investigation. Fortunately, they figured out pretty quickly that I was not the guy who they were looking for. Unfortunately, the person who actually did kill this person is still at large and the crime has never been solved.

Flash forward 17 years later. Last night, there was a benefit for the Francis House featuring performances by Maria Muldaur and a whole bunch of other talented people and I missed it. Usually, I flake out on stuff like this because I am an anti-social asshole, but this time it was because I got all caught up on a bass track that I couldn't get right, mostly because my name's not Gabe Nelson and bass playing doesn't come very naturally to me and I need about 1438 takes to put it down. And usually I don't feel too guilty about missing stuff like this show because I love recording despite the frustration involved, but this time, because of the combination of the show being a benefit for a charity that's helped me get by in the past, and that Maria Muldaur, et al were probably going to put on quite a memorable performance, I was kicking myself pretty hard after the fact for missing out on going.



Since I had missed out on the benefit show, I decided to kick down a contribution online. Francis House has a link to a donation page run by Network for Good, a site which handles donations for all kinds of non-profits. I figured as well that the hundred bucks that I donated online would go directly to the charity, as opposed to shows which tend to have high overhead and thus, a smaller percentage of the money actually goes to the cause. But still, I have a feeling that Maria will be performing for quite some time and I'll just have to catch her at a future visit when she comes back to town. Hey, at least the goal of the show got through to me, and I didn't even show up.

So, how about you? I think that you need to give a donation to a local charity for the poor in your community, especially since the economy's so fucked up and even working people need to depend on food closets and other types of aid organizations to get by. I dare you. I double dare you. I triple dog dare you!


(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)

THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™ - DAY 22

24 years ago today, I arrived in Sacramento and, except for several weeks out of state, I have never left.

I've lived mostly in Midtown, but have also lived in Oak Park, Colonial Heights and even a short time in Del Paso Heights. I've lived in apartments, houses, a trailer, SROs, in Capitol Park, by the big ol' tree at 18th and Capitol and under hedges by 21st and Capitol. I've seen this city move up from a one horse hick town to, well, more people, more buildings and one more horse. Oh, and much better pizza than in 1984.

I celebrated my milestone tonight by laying down a keyboard track. Hey, you celebrate stuff your way and I'll do it my way.



(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)