God damn it! I just ran out of deodorant again! It's really not that big of a deal since I have a replacement in the cabinet, but I had just bought four of these fuckers in what seems like a pretty short time ago.
Once upon a time, I didn't bother with putting anything in my armpits at all, since I'm one of those guys who sort of enjoys regular daily showers and clean clothes and shit like that. However, that all changed about three years ago thanks to some fuckwad at my place of employment.
One bright and sunny morning, I was called into a private conference with my supervisor. At the time I was working at a call center and the workstations were in pretty close quarters. My supervisor informed me that he needed to advise me to pay strict attention to my personal hygiene. At the same time, he mentioned that neither the manager of the department or himself had any problem with me whatsoever. Translated, I had taken this to mean that someone was just trying to be an asshole and harass me. Later, my department manager had mentioned yet another complaint, but also pointed out that the person sitting behind me to my left was being complained about as well. In other words, he was trying to make it obvious as to who was doing the complaining, and in a kind of outside way, help me to pinpoint who was doing the actual complaining.
Fortunately, the person who I suspect was making the accusations is no longer working for the company. Regardless, I now have enough paranoia vested inside my mind to use de-stink product in my underarms daily. Thanks, fucker. Maybe I can take you to Small Claims Court and collect harassment damages for all of the anti-perspirant I've been blowing my hard earned dollars over for the past 36 months.
(IMPORTANT NOTE OF GUIDANCE: This post is but one in a series called THE MUNDANE MONTH OF BLOGGING™. For those of you who are scratching your head right now and saying to yourselves, "What the fuck is he trying to prove?", Click Here, Pilgrim)
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