Wow. 200 lashes.
Saudi Arabia's really tough on punishing their rape victims.
That wasn't a typo, by the way. Read all about it. Click here, Pilgrim
Sunday, November 18, 2007
PSYCHO'S RECORD PILE
Funkadelic- America Eats Its Young (1972)
It's only fitting that the first album that I cracked open and listened to on the first day of 2001 is the last one that I'm writing about this year (Note- this review was originally published on 1/2/2002- MP). If only I knew that a three-decades-old and relatively obscure release by George Clinton's old unit would have so much relevance by the time that autumn arrived. To be specific, what blows my mind nowadays is the newfound significance of America Eats Its Young 's opening trio of songs.
Let me start by saying that this record does not strike me as anything hinting at the later P-Funk projects undertaken by Mr. Clinton. This doesn't have an audible relation to, let's say, Parliament's "Mothership Connection" as much as it gives off strong reminders of the Mothers of Invention, namely smack on the "Overnight Sensation" era.
This was the fourth Funkadelic LP, with some notable lineup changes. Two guys left around the time this one was made due to money disputes and the full-time drummer had an unfortunate experience with substances of a lysergic nature. But, fate brought in a new era with the Collins brothers (Bootsy and Catfish) among others hopping aboard and Clinton taking things into about twenty new directions. Many of the tracks are staying afloat in an ocean of reverb, somehow without drowning. Otherwise, that's where the similarity to the previous Funkadelic work ends. This was a tighter, and yet at the same time, far more experimental sound than before.
But let's go back to what I mentioned earlier: the opening three tunes. When these songs were written, America was still facing the ass end of the Vietnam War and Watergate was still being plotted out. But whoo boy, do these words bite with a whole new set of fangs today.
"You Hit The Nail On The Head" kicks in quite abruptly with a heavy syncopated funk, then after a few minutes breaks down to that type of slower Sly Stoneish groove so popularly bowdlerized (very badly) on TV cop drama soundtracks of the era. The song's title is sung during this break, then blam! We're back in the previous gear with "Just because you win the fight/ Don't make you right/ Just because you give/ Don't make you good". Suddenly Relevant Lyrics, Exhibit One.
Then there's "If You Don't Like The Effects, Don't Produce The Cause." The sentiment expressed by the title, had it been released today, would be newly controversial enough. But it gets even stranger, and ends up bordering on prophecy. Namely, the part that goes "You say you don't like what our country's about/Ain't you deep/ In your semi-first-class seat/ You picket this and you protest that/And eat yourself fat/Ain't you deep/In your semi-first-class seat..." Relevant Exhibit Two.
Back in the time, before continuous tracks on CDs fucked up things, care was taken by many producers and artists to make each side of a record like a mini-set, tying together each side's general flow and/or relevance. I bought a British reissue of the album on vinyl and the first side concludes with "Everybody Is Going To Make It This Time". A sort of gospel exhortation from Rev. Clinton's pulpit, this final track on Side One can be utilized as the Healing Tune of America, 2001. You can stick with your Old Lang Syne at midnight- I think I'll opt for this one. "We've got to learn from the mistakes/ That were made in the past/ We've got to clean so that we can use our minds/ 'Cause in order to get it together/ We've got to get our heads together/ Everybody is going to make it this time". Yup, you guessed it, Relevant Exhibit Three. The defense rests.
Which is not to encourage anyone to ignore the rest. I'm surprised that "Loose Booty" hasn't been stolen, I mean sampled, more often than it has. (EPMD are the only ones I know of who've used it.) "Miss Lucifer's Love" is cool enough to listen to despite the fact that "She just wants to satisfy" is repeated (literally) almost three dozen times. However, as experimentation is bound to have its consequences, some of the moments are kind of uncomfortable, to put it mildly. I like the instrumental "A Joyful Process" but some may dismiss it nowadays as a "Sanford and Son" soundtrack reject. "We Hurt Too" isn't so bad lyrically but the pseudo- Hey Love compilation arrangement tends to add a cheesy aftertaste to the atmosphere of the song. And the album's closer, "Wake Up", is a strong composition yet in retrospect it gave me nasty recollections of other forms of music that fucked up that type of songwriting. Namely, bullshit that you hear from traveling road show productions of "Godspell" and "Up With People" and the like.
But despite America Eats Its Young's debatable flaws, it grew on me once I got past my obsession with Side One. "Philmore" is pure Stax meets Zappa. "Pussy" makes me wish that I were dropping LSD again. And if you listen really, really carefully to the intro to "Pussy", you can make out four notes that Lenny Kravitz stole, subsequently selling millions of records and achieving phat airplay. Then for some reason it breaks into a porno soundtrack. But hey, this was the carefree '70's after all.
Overall, this is an album worth adding to the collection of anyone out there who claims to have a functional knowledge of the history of funk's greatest moments. That is, if you can find a store that has it. It's a damn shame if you ask me. If such forgettable diddlysquat like Journey and the "Grease" soundtrack can generate enough interest for re-issue, Hell, Funkadelic's early catalogue deserves a serious big-money promo from one of the multinational music monoliths out there. But of course, no one should hold his or her breath. Plus, this album's cover, with Lady Liberty chawing on babies and a re-done Great Seal replete with eagle's talons gripping a syringe and a malnourished child, isn't exactly the most PC statement nowadays. But then again, the ugly segments of truths never are.
(Note: This review was written in the good old days before Amazon had any good records for sale. Now I betcha the farm you can pick one up there. No, I don't have an affiliate account and I'm not trying to trick you.) Click here, Pilgrim
Funkadelic- America Eats Its Young (1972)
It's only fitting that the first album that I cracked open and listened to on the first day of 2001 is the last one that I'm writing about this year (Note- this review was originally published on 1/2/2002- MP). If only I knew that a three-decades-old and relatively obscure release by George Clinton's old unit would have so much relevance by the time that autumn arrived. To be specific, what blows my mind nowadays is the newfound significance of America Eats Its Young 's opening trio of songs.
Let me start by saying that this record does not strike me as anything hinting at the later P-Funk projects undertaken by Mr. Clinton. This doesn't have an audible relation to, let's say, Parliament's "Mothership Connection" as much as it gives off strong reminders of the Mothers of Invention, namely smack on the "Overnight Sensation" era.
This was the fourth Funkadelic LP, with some notable lineup changes. Two guys left around the time this one was made due to money disputes and the full-time drummer had an unfortunate experience with substances of a lysergic nature. But, fate brought in a new era with the Collins brothers (Bootsy and Catfish) among others hopping aboard and Clinton taking things into about twenty new directions. Many of the tracks are staying afloat in an ocean of reverb, somehow without drowning. Otherwise, that's where the similarity to the previous Funkadelic work ends. This was a tighter, and yet at the same time, far more experimental sound than before.
But let's go back to what I mentioned earlier: the opening three tunes. When these songs were written, America was still facing the ass end of the Vietnam War and Watergate was still being plotted out. But whoo boy, do these words bite with a whole new set of fangs today.
"You Hit The Nail On The Head" kicks in quite abruptly with a heavy syncopated funk, then after a few minutes breaks down to that type of slower Sly Stoneish groove so popularly bowdlerized (very badly) on TV cop drama soundtracks of the era. The song's title is sung during this break, then blam! We're back in the previous gear with "Just because you win the fight/ Don't make you right/ Just because you give/ Don't make you good". Suddenly Relevant Lyrics, Exhibit One.
Then there's "If You Don't Like The Effects, Don't Produce The Cause." The sentiment expressed by the title, had it been released today, would be newly controversial enough. But it gets even stranger, and ends up bordering on prophecy. Namely, the part that goes "You say you don't like what our country's about/Ain't you deep/ In your semi-first-class seat/ You picket this and you protest that/And eat yourself fat/Ain't you deep/In your semi-first-class seat..." Relevant Exhibit Two.
Back in the time, before continuous tracks on CDs fucked up things, care was taken by many producers and artists to make each side of a record like a mini-set, tying together each side's general flow and/or relevance. I bought a British reissue of the album on vinyl and the first side concludes with "Everybody Is Going To Make It This Time". A sort of gospel exhortation from Rev. Clinton's pulpit, this final track on Side One can be utilized as the Healing Tune of America, 2001. You can stick with your Old Lang Syne at midnight- I think I'll opt for this one. "We've got to learn from the mistakes/ That were made in the past/ We've got to clean so that we can use our minds/ 'Cause in order to get it together/ We've got to get our heads together/ Everybody is going to make it this time". Yup, you guessed it, Relevant Exhibit Three. The defense rests.
Which is not to encourage anyone to ignore the rest. I'm surprised that "Loose Booty" hasn't been stolen, I mean sampled, more often than it has. (EPMD are the only ones I know of who've used it.) "Miss Lucifer's Love" is cool enough to listen to despite the fact that "She just wants to satisfy" is repeated (literally) almost three dozen times. However, as experimentation is bound to have its consequences, some of the moments are kind of uncomfortable, to put it mildly. I like the instrumental "A Joyful Process" but some may dismiss it nowadays as a "Sanford and Son" soundtrack reject. "We Hurt Too" isn't so bad lyrically but the pseudo- Hey Love compilation arrangement tends to add a cheesy aftertaste to the atmosphere of the song. And the album's closer, "Wake Up", is a strong composition yet in retrospect it gave me nasty recollections of other forms of music that fucked up that type of songwriting. Namely, bullshit that you hear from traveling road show productions of "Godspell" and "Up With People" and the like.
But despite America Eats Its Young's debatable flaws, it grew on me once I got past my obsession with Side One. "Philmore" is pure Stax meets Zappa. "Pussy" makes me wish that I were dropping LSD again. And if you listen really, really carefully to the intro to "Pussy", you can make out four notes that Lenny Kravitz stole, subsequently selling millions of records and achieving phat airplay. Then for some reason it breaks into a porno soundtrack. But hey, this was the carefree '70's after all.
Overall, this is an album worth adding to the collection of anyone out there who claims to have a functional knowledge of the history of funk's greatest moments. That is, if you can find a store that has it. It's a damn shame if you ask me. If such forgettable diddlysquat like Journey and the "Grease" soundtrack can generate enough interest for re-issue, Hell, Funkadelic's early catalogue deserves a serious big-money promo from one of the multinational music monoliths out there. But of course, no one should hold his or her breath. Plus, this album's cover, with Lady Liberty chawing on babies and a re-done Great Seal replete with eagle's talons gripping a syringe and a malnourished child, isn't exactly the most PC statement nowadays. But then again, the ugly segments of truths never are.
(Note: This review was written in the good old days before Amazon had any good records for sale. Now I betcha the farm you can pick one up there. No, I don't have an affiliate account and I'm not trying to trick you.) Click here, Pilgrim
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Hey Fed. Fuck you.
No, not you, K-Fed. Go back to trying to collect your fees for being Britney’s sperm bank and move along. Nothing for you to see here.
I’m talking about the corporate apologists known as Bernanke and Co. Hey, Uncle Ben, thanks for lowering the interest rate one MORE time in order to cover up the fact that Big Biz is, as usual, fucking up due to greedy pillaging of the working class.
The lower rung of the economic ladder can simply fuck off, eh, Federal Reserve? Who cares if inflation might force working poor parents into deciding whether their kids would miss milk or bread more this week? Who gives a shit if the dollar is fast becoming the new peso at today’s current exchange rates against other countries? (And by the way, lately, it’s been buying less pesos too.)
We need to kiss the high holy ass of the sacred cow of business! At all costs! No matter that there are 57 million Americans who are one paycheck, medical bill or disaster away from falling under the poverty line- fuck all those people, right? God-DAMN-it, you need to dump the Countrywide stock in order to buy Apple, and you need those lending rates to stay DOWN! Plus, you don’t see most of these folks unless they’re filling your coffee cup or mowing your lawn, and then they go away and you don’t have to deal with them. Besides, none of YOUR relatives or friends ever does that kind of low-level work, unless of course you want to teach Biff and Muffy a lesson about self-sufficiency for a couple of months before they go off to their Ivy League educations, and usually those are jobs attained through, well, friends and relatives, right?
On a bad day, I would propose that this would be a good time to instigate rioting in the streets, but of course, most of these assholes responsible live in the ‘burbs and well-guarded gated communities, so the only people hurt would be the ones who are already getting dogged over. A more realistic tactic would be to do whatever it takes to stop going out and buying so much crap if you’re willing to join in on the fight against corporate vampires, but for too many folks affected adversely by the Fed and Big Business’ mutual circle jerk, such cost-cutting actions are already being done involuntarily, so it would be a moot proposal.
No, not you, K-Fed. Go back to trying to collect your fees for being Britney’s sperm bank and move along. Nothing for you to see here.
I’m talking about the corporate apologists known as Bernanke and Co. Hey, Uncle Ben, thanks for lowering the interest rate one MORE time in order to cover up the fact that Big Biz is, as usual, fucking up due to greedy pillaging of the working class.
The lower rung of the economic ladder can simply fuck off, eh, Federal Reserve? Who cares if inflation might force working poor parents into deciding whether their kids would miss milk or bread more this week? Who gives a shit if the dollar is fast becoming the new peso at today’s current exchange rates against other countries? (And by the way, lately, it’s been buying less pesos too.)
We need to kiss the high holy ass of the sacred cow of business! At all costs! No matter that there are 57 million Americans who are one paycheck, medical bill or disaster away from falling under the poverty line- fuck all those people, right? God-DAMN-it, you need to dump the Countrywide stock in order to buy Apple, and you need those lending rates to stay DOWN! Plus, you don’t see most of these folks unless they’re filling your coffee cup or mowing your lawn, and then they go away and you don’t have to deal with them. Besides, none of YOUR relatives or friends ever does that kind of low-level work, unless of course you want to teach Biff and Muffy a lesson about self-sufficiency for a couple of months before they go off to their Ivy League educations, and usually those are jobs attained through, well, friends and relatives, right?
On a bad day, I would propose that this would be a good time to instigate rioting in the streets, but of course, most of these assholes responsible live in the ‘burbs and well-guarded gated communities, so the only people hurt would be the ones who are already getting dogged over. A more realistic tactic would be to do whatever it takes to stop going out and buying so much crap if you’re willing to join in on the fight against corporate vampires, but for too many folks affected adversely by the Fed and Big Business’ mutual circle jerk, such cost-cutting actions are already being done involuntarily, so it would be a moot proposal.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
A TASTE OF THINGS TO COME?
Yeah yeah, I know that, compared to California, Florida is more or less a fascist state. (Isn’t that where 2 Live Crew got busted for obscenity back in the time?)
However, an Orlando Sentinel story, courtesy of a Romenesko link, would seem to put at least a few shivers down the spine of the folks at our local Sacramento News&Review. Seems that the Orlando Weekly’s ad staff is getting the one time for pimpin’ hoes. The arrests were directly connected to the same type of escort / massage ads that the SN&R runs in its print edition every week. Page after moola raking page. (And while I’m on the subject, hey Snerr- thanks for giving Joey Garcia and her advice column the respect it deserves and putting a plug for it on your cover so that we don’t have to weed through all those stupid porn and strip club ads just to read her. But I digress.)
The questions sure do arise from this bust. Will Sac PD feel emboldened enough to attempt a sting operation of their own? Would Mr. vonKaenel tell Chief Braziel to “go pound sand”? Inquiring minds want to know.
The story of the Orlando Weekly bust- Click here, Pilgrim
Yeah yeah, I know that, compared to California, Florida is more or less a fascist state. (Isn’t that where 2 Live Crew got busted for obscenity back in the time?)
However, an Orlando Sentinel story, courtesy of a Romenesko link, would seem to put at least a few shivers down the spine of the folks at our local Sacramento News&Review. Seems that the Orlando Weekly’s ad staff is getting the one time for pimpin’ hoes. The arrests were directly connected to the same type of escort / massage ads that the SN&R runs in its print edition every week. Page after moola raking page. (And while I’m on the subject, hey Snerr- thanks for giving Joey Garcia and her advice column the respect it deserves and putting a plug for it on your cover so that we don’t have to weed through all those stupid porn and strip club ads just to read her. But I digress.)
The questions sure do arise from this bust. Will Sac PD feel emboldened enough to attempt a sting operation of their own? Would Mr. vonKaenel tell Chief Braziel to “go pound sand”? Inquiring minds want to know.
The story of the Orlando Weekly bust- Click here, Pilgrim
Thursday, October 18, 2007
THAT WAS THE PRESHIDENT (hiccup!)
Back in the days following the JFK assassination, Phil Ochs penned a touching tribute to John F. Kennedy entitled "That Was The President." The chorus from that song can be twisted easily to describe the video below as "This is the President, and this is the man."
Three thoughts come to mind when I view this unfortunate trainwreck of a (pay for hire?) wedding video:
1. Only in America could this fucker get elected to ANY political office, much less as a Chief Executive.
2. This video is evidence that I have a longer streak of sobriety than Dubya. So, bud, you haven't been drinking since you were 40, eh? Hmm, let's check the calendar. Interestingly enough, I drank my last beer on March 5, 1992. You were born in '46, correct? That makes you, lessee, forty fuckin' SIX or so (about a couple years older than I am now) in this video. Pretty fuzzy math you're using there Georgie.
3. We have a dry drunk in the White House. Explains a LOT.
Back in the days following the JFK assassination, Phil Ochs penned a touching tribute to John F. Kennedy entitled "That Was The President." The chorus from that song can be twisted easily to describe the video below as "This is the President, and this is the man."
Three thoughts come to mind when I view this unfortunate trainwreck of a (pay for hire?) wedding video:
1. Only in America could this fucker get elected to ANY political office, much less as a Chief Executive.
2. This video is evidence that I have a longer streak of sobriety than Dubya. So, bud, you haven't been drinking since you were 40, eh? Hmm, let's check the calendar. Interestingly enough, I drank my last beer on March 5, 1992. You were born in '46, correct? That makes you, lessee, forty fuckin' SIX or so (about a couple years older than I am now) in this video. Pretty fuzzy math you're using there Georgie.
3. We have a dry drunk in the White House. Explains a LOT.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Dear nice taggers:
Thanks for the considerate behavior. Apparently, when you were wandering about the other night, the only thing you chose to tag within the immediate vicinity of my neighborhood was this here abandoned couch. As far as I can tell, you left our homes and buildings alone. That’s like so cool of yers! If there’s something that needs to be removed from the street anyway, and you feel the urge to tag it, by all means go for it! Who could object to such a civilized brand of selective vandalism? If I’m pissed off at anybody in this scene, it’s the asshole or assholes who decided to use my local curb to dump their fuckin’ loveseat! But hey, you may have actually helped things by making the disposed furniture in question an even bigger eyesore, embarrassing the City or whoever to finally haul it away.
So anyway, if I was, like your tagger crew supervisor I’d probably hand you like, one of those lil’ cardboard happy smiley stars with your name on it and scribble in a side comment of “Way to go! Great effort!” or some shit like that. Hopefully, you’re not just warming up the ol’ paint cans for this weekend to really unleash your, erm, creative juices on my ‘hood. The week before last was enough, when those little suburban wiggers were encouraged by their asshole conservative parents to come down from Placer or Elk Grove or wherever the fuck they’re from to spray paint the shit out of our local blocks. I wouldn’t have been surprised if Mummy and Daddy dropped ‘em off in their SUVs at 3 in the morning and picked them up for Denny’s Grand Slams afterwards right after taking pictures for the family photo album. Please keep your little shits out of Midtown, or at least stop watching your TIVOd copies of Hannity & Colmes and try to keep an eye on your brats once in a while. Thanks.
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Okay, I'll admit it. I can't wait to see the new Ken Burns documentary series, "The War."
As someone whose father's job in his teens was blowing kamikaze pilots out of the air before they crashed into the ships in his area, I have a sort of personal interest. And I also know firsthand from the stories of an actual World War II combat veteran that there was a different level of character to people back then, a different level of perseverance. Laymen's translation: they could put up with a lot more shit than much of today's middle class society in general.
And another thought I've had in passing: if the mentality of today's so-called leaders, both civilian and military, was the same after the 9/11 attacks as folks of the WWII generation, I've got more than just a hunch that Saudi Arabia would be a flat floor of ashes right now. Not like I would have wanted that to happen, but at least there would be some crumb of logic to be found in the strategy.
(And if you think that I'm whacked to make the latter statements, some Establishment Media sources HAVE exhibited similar sentiments in the past.) For example: Click here, Pilgrim
As someone whose father's job in his teens was blowing kamikaze pilots out of the air before they crashed into the ships in his area, I have a sort of personal interest. And I also know firsthand from the stories of an actual World War II combat veteran that there was a different level of character to people back then, a different level of perseverance. Laymen's translation: they could put up with a lot more shit than much of today's middle class society in general.
And another thought I've had in passing: if the mentality of today's so-called leaders, both civilian and military, was the same after the 9/11 attacks as folks of the WWII generation, I've got more than just a hunch that Saudi Arabia would be a flat floor of ashes right now. Not like I would have wanted that to happen, but at least there would be some crumb of logic to be found in the strategy.
(And if you think that I'm whacked to make the latter statements, some Establishment Media sources HAVE exhibited similar sentiments in the past.) For example: Click here, Pilgrim
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Garageband.com contacted me the other day with an email warning me that, if I did not update my artiste page there within 15 days, my site would be deleted. I only check my emails once a month or so nowadays (after all, I don't have another album scheduled for release until 11/11/2012) so by the time I responded the page was already removed.
I had actually forgotten about this site, so normally this would be no loss as I've already got plenty of my songs available online all over the map. BUT just for giggles, I restored my page so head on over and help to bloat my stats with a couple of lovely downloads of songs that I posted. (I have been told that there is no better song to wake up to on a Sunday morning than "Church". But I ain't one to gossip, so you didn't hear it from me.)
Click here and listen, Pilgrim
I had actually forgotten about this site, so normally this would be no loss as I've already got plenty of my songs available online all over the map. BUT just for giggles, I restored my page so head on over and help to bloat my stats with a couple of lovely downloads of songs that I posted. (I have been told that there is no better song to wake up to on a Sunday morning than "Church". But I ain't one to gossip, so you didn't hear it from me.)
Click here and listen, Pilgrim
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Hey folks… it’s time to play…
POLITEED CALL AND RESPONSE!
Thanks very much to the local Good Day Sacramento TV program for getting this new virally marketed product to my attention. Politeed is a new company started by some Dallas area lady who got sick of working for Verizon and invested her buyout offer from Mr. “Can You Hear Me Now?” and his entourage into a novelty T-shirt enterprise.
Ah but not just any ol’ tees. These are slogan-smeared girths of cotton meant to provoke you and make you generate discussion and shit like that. (You know, like, if you’re old enough to remember, those two toned bold printed “CHOOSE LIFE” and “RELAX” shirts from the ‘80s, but with like, more words.)
At first glance, when CW31’s “Good Day” was shilling / reporting on these things Friday morning, I was a wee bit perplexed at the questions that were printed across the tit zones of these shirts. Questions like, “WHAT WOULD DR. KING THINK OF AFFIRMATIVE ACTION?” and “IS AMERICA THE REAL SOURCE OF THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS?” made me wonder why anyone would want to go out in public seemingly dressing up for Halloween as a typical topic for discussion on “The O’Reilly Factor.” While one Politeed online blurb claims, “We don’t tell you which side of the issue should be ‘right’ or ‘wrong,” this viewer couldn’t help but conclude that practically all of the Politeed tees observed on the TV screen had rhetorical queries that swung pretty fuckin’ hard to the right.
But, y’know, perhaps I’m falling hook line and sinker for the bait, or perhaps I already think and discuss things on my own already and don’t need a 28-dollars-and-change T shirt to trendmonger me into thinking it’s cool to do so. And besides, they’re giving 10% of every shirt sold to the National Resources Defense Council to like, save polar bears and shit. Although, as much as I love polar bears and don’t own a car and have an elf- sized carbon footprint and all that, why would a company claiming to not take a stand on any topic be so gung ho in favor of stopping global warming or even acknowledge that global warming is even going on in the first place?
Anyway, you KNOW that for at least a little while, fate will arrange an unholy alliance, in that, the way that these shirts are being promoted AND the typical American consumer’s sheep-like gullibility will combine to ensure that some significant number of trendoids will be showing up around town thinking that rocking a Politeed on their bod is somehow going to get them laid.
That said, you’d better be ready. And that’s what I’m here for right now, Pilgrim. To guide you on your path. To give you the ammunition to answer back to these folks who think that they are just TOO muthafuckin’ clever to get a legitimate response. Well, naturally, anyone could figure out that the best way to kill a rhetorical question is by responding with another rhetorical question.
So here we go… time to play…
POLITEED CALL AND RESPONSE!
Politeed will now present their questions in italics and I will respond following.
Here we go…
Are gay rights civil rights?
Was the murder of Matthew Shepard a hate crime?
DING! Psycho 1, Politeed 0
Does terrorism require America to rethink free speech?
Did terrorists write, vote on or ratify the First Amendment?
DING! Psycho 2, Politeed 0
Is radical Christianity just as threatening as radical Islam?
Is Arthur Miller’s play, “The Crucible,” based on real events?
DING! Psycho 3, Politeed 0
Is America the real source of the world’s problems?
If America could patent “problems”, would it find a way to make laborers in the Third World produce it for 1/64th what they’d have to pay a legal resident in the U.S.?
DING! Psycho 4, Politeed 0
Okay this is getting boring. One more round just for sport…
What would Dr. King say about Affirmative Action?
Ever heard of Operation Breadbasket?
DING! Psycho 5, Politeed 0. The ref has called the match!
God, that was TOO easy.
POLITEED CALL AND RESPONSE!
Thanks very much to the local Good Day Sacramento TV program for getting this new virally marketed product to my attention. Politeed is a new company started by some Dallas area lady who got sick of working for Verizon and invested her buyout offer from Mr. “Can You Hear Me Now?” and his entourage into a novelty T-shirt enterprise.
Ah but not just any ol’ tees. These are slogan-smeared girths of cotton meant to provoke you and make you generate discussion and shit like that. (You know, like, if you’re old enough to remember, those two toned bold printed “CHOOSE LIFE” and “RELAX” shirts from the ‘80s, but with like, more words.)
At first glance, when CW31’s “Good Day” was shilling / reporting on these things Friday morning, I was a wee bit perplexed at the questions that were printed across the tit zones of these shirts. Questions like, “WHAT WOULD DR. KING THINK OF AFFIRMATIVE ACTION?” and “IS AMERICA THE REAL SOURCE OF THE WORLD’S PROBLEMS?” made me wonder why anyone would want to go out in public seemingly dressing up for Halloween as a typical topic for discussion on “The O’Reilly Factor.” While one Politeed online blurb claims, “We don’t tell you which side of the issue should be ‘right’ or ‘wrong,” this viewer couldn’t help but conclude that practically all of the Politeed tees observed on the TV screen had rhetorical queries that swung pretty fuckin’ hard to the right.
But, y’know, perhaps I’m falling hook line and sinker for the bait, or perhaps I already think and discuss things on my own already and don’t need a 28-dollars-and-change T shirt to trendmonger me into thinking it’s cool to do so. And besides, they’re giving 10% of every shirt sold to the National Resources Defense Council to like, save polar bears and shit. Although, as much as I love polar bears and don’t own a car and have an elf- sized carbon footprint and all that, why would a company claiming to not take a stand on any topic be so gung ho in favor of stopping global warming or even acknowledge that global warming is even going on in the first place?
Anyway, you KNOW that for at least a little while, fate will arrange an unholy alliance, in that, the way that these shirts are being promoted AND the typical American consumer’s sheep-like gullibility will combine to ensure that some significant number of trendoids will be showing up around town thinking that rocking a Politeed on their bod is somehow going to get them laid.
That said, you’d better be ready. And that’s what I’m here for right now, Pilgrim. To guide you on your path. To give you the ammunition to answer back to these folks who think that they are just TOO muthafuckin’ clever to get a legitimate response. Well, naturally, anyone could figure out that the best way to kill a rhetorical question is by responding with another rhetorical question.
So here we go… time to play…
POLITEED CALL AND RESPONSE!
Politeed will now present their questions in italics and I will respond following.
Here we go…
Are gay rights civil rights?
Was the murder of Matthew Shepard a hate crime?
DING! Psycho 1, Politeed 0
Does terrorism require America to rethink free speech?
Did terrorists write, vote on or ratify the First Amendment?
DING! Psycho 2, Politeed 0
Is radical Christianity just as threatening as radical Islam?
Is Arthur Miller’s play, “The Crucible,” based on real events?
DING! Psycho 3, Politeed 0
Is America the real source of the world’s problems?
If America could patent “problems”, would it find a way to make laborers in the Third World produce it for 1/64th what they’d have to pay a legal resident in the U.S.?
DING! Psycho 4, Politeed 0
Okay this is getting boring. One more round just for sport…
What would Dr. King say about Affirmative Action?
Ever heard of Operation Breadbasket?
DING! Psycho 5, Politeed 0. The ref has called the match!
God, that was TOO easy.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Hey, you look like you could use a laugh.
Want to hear the funniest joke I've caught this week?
The stock market.
Aw, c'mon. If you don't think that the latest index regurgitation is a bucket of yuks, you must be lobotomized or something.
What really adds to the wacky, kooky laugh charged atmosphere is recalling how just about a WEEK ago these TV business show pundits have been blabbing away at how the U.S. of A.'s impending subprime lending crisis isn't going to hurt things much over all and how we have a GLOBAL economy now and nothing's gonna stop that thar juggernaut from rollin' on and the GLOBAL economy will keep us strong and solvent and blah blah bullshit bullshit rosy picture blah blah blah.
Guess nobody had better show the aforementioned media mouths any articles like this update on the Asian markets. Especially the part that says:
Dealers said that although Asia's exposure to the US mortgage problems appeared to be limited, the fear is that foreign funds will be forced to sell Asian stocks to cover losses on sub-prime loans to risky borrowers.
Nah. Nothing to worry about. For me, that is. I don't have any money tied up in stocks. Or any home loans to pay off.
And there's a simple reason for that.
You see, I'm not a dumb fuck like a lot of other people.
As for any of you out there who are unfortunate enough to have a 401K right now or a subprime mortgage hanging over your head, I would think real hard about a trip to the Big 5 for some camping equipment. (Or better yet, Wal-Mart. According to the latest earnings reports they could use all the help they can get.) And scout out some nice locations at the river to park your van. But you could be okay with the 401K. That is, if you don't retire until, say around 2042 or so.
As for me, I'll be endlessly entertained by the current drunken public puking passout that Wall Street is experiencing. Dump back below 10,000, Dow! It CAN be a reality. Heh heh heh.
Want to hear the funniest joke I've caught this week?
The stock market.
Aw, c'mon. If you don't think that the latest index regurgitation is a bucket of yuks, you must be lobotomized or something.
What really adds to the wacky, kooky laugh charged atmosphere is recalling how just about a WEEK ago these TV business show pundits have been blabbing away at how the U.S. of A.'s impending subprime lending crisis isn't going to hurt things much over all and how we have a GLOBAL economy now and nothing's gonna stop that thar juggernaut from rollin' on and the GLOBAL economy will keep us strong and solvent and blah blah bullshit bullshit rosy picture blah blah blah.
Guess nobody had better show the aforementioned media mouths any articles like this update on the Asian markets. Especially the part that says:
Dealers said that although Asia's exposure to the US mortgage problems appeared to be limited, the fear is that foreign funds will be forced to sell Asian stocks to cover losses on sub-prime loans to risky borrowers.
Nah. Nothing to worry about. For me, that is. I don't have any money tied up in stocks. Or any home loans to pay off.
And there's a simple reason for that.
You see, I'm not a dumb fuck like a lot of other people.
As for any of you out there who are unfortunate enough to have a 401K right now or a subprime mortgage hanging over your head, I would think real hard about a trip to the Big 5 for some camping equipment. (Or better yet, Wal-Mart. According to the latest earnings reports they could use all the help they can get.) And scout out some nice locations at the river to park your van. But you could be okay with the 401K. That is, if you don't retire until, say around 2042 or so.
As for me, I'll be endlessly entertained by the current drunken public puking passout that Wall Street is experiencing. Dump back below 10,000, Dow! It CAN be a reality. Heh heh heh.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Not that I can stand more than 120 seconds of the Fox News Channel, but…
Why is it, whenever I flip channels, the crawl on Fux is spewing some kind of Chicken Little alarmist bullshit about Hugo Chavez and Venezuela, that is, doing so when some rocket scientist like Neil Cavuto isn't yakking on and on about what an evil dictator and threat to world peace that Chavez is.
So, how come other networks aren’t joining in on the fun? Is it because Fux News is so “Fair” and “Balanced” in comparison to the rest of the Evil Liberal Media? Uh, nuh brah.
It's because there really ISN'T that much of a story. At least not yet. In all probability, it’s a creative way for Fux News to divert its crap corroded conservative extremist viewership from thinking too hard about the ever increasing failed experiment that is Dubya’s cock compensation mission in Iraq. That, alternated with “Lookee! Thet thar Dow stock ticker jes hit FO-TEEN THOW POINTS! See how great this here economy’s doin?”
Any media company owned by media fuehrer Rupert Murdoch that criticizes the censorship policies of anyone is playing a serious game of Glass House Stone Throwing. Let’s follow up the Chavez bashing stories, why don’t we, with the latest update on the Chinese MySpace venture? And, besides the fact that Rupe’s May/December Chinese wifey was handed the job of "chief of strategy", you may want to fill in all of your allegedly patriotic, freedom loving American viewers with the policies of self-censorship and repression of comments opposing the policies of the People’s Republic.
But of course, that’s wishful thinking. Rupe and News Corporation and MySpace and related corporate pigs would rather rake in the bucks than keep it real, whether it’s from China, the U.S. or anywhere else the money’s green. So ultimately, Chavez’ shortcomings are much more news-sexy (and safer) to harp on than China’s human rights abuses and their economic bedfellowing with a swell fellow like Robert Mugabe, whose regime routinely arrests and abuses Zimbabwe’s political dissidents and has done so consistently for the past 27 years. But then again, he’s not a socialist so that’s, erm, "good" repression. The kind that opens up the possibility of a lucrative MySpace Zimbabwe venture.
So remember, Fux News: there’s strict definitions that you have fabricated all by yourselves as to “good” socialism and “bad” socialism. Be sure to whine endlessly about the latter. Just don’t show your hand to your brain dead audience ‘cause then there might be Hell to pay. Well maybe not. They’re probably THAT stupid and gullible.
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