I don't think that I have mentioned this yet but...
About a year ago I started my own group on MySpace. Not that I give a shit if anyone joins (kind of like I equally could give a fuck if anyone "friends" me on my cobweb-collecting cyber middle finger of a profile.)
Anyway, click here, Pilgrim
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Dear Mr. Nader:
Don’t run. Ever again. Please?
Oh sure, I agree with you almost to the letter when I hear you talk about the stagnant two-party-as-now-one system and how SOMEthing has to be done about it and yadda yadda blah blah blah. And I strongly feel that a third party candidacy could actually be good for getting important issues back into contention.
The only thing is, you are not the guy, Ralph.
While it is admirable that you have a monster track record in activism and public interest work, the fact is, there are three branches of government not one, and well, you have a reputation of being a born leader. Maybe too much of a leader. As in, this is how it’s going to be, consensus, conSHMENsus. THAT kind of leader. Sure you get things done that way but the fact is that there’s these things called Congress and the Supreme Court and this document called the Constitution that sorta have some relevance in this general equation, and well, I don’t think you’re quite in game form for that kinda shit.
But, again, I’m not disputing your general statements: re: the rotting corpse that is the electoral process in America today. I mean, who do we REALLY have to look at as a positive ray of hope in the upcoming Presidential election?
Obama? Oh please. This guy is John Edwards with a darker complexion. I really have to gag when I see all of these suburban I-hate-Bush-but-don’t-give-change-to-homeless-people asswipes trumpeting (real loud and to anyone within earshot / unfortunate enough to stumble upon their website) how much they loooove Sen. Obama and half of them DON’T EVEN KNOW OR CARE WHAT THE FUCK HE’S ABOUT. Now, granted, I actually have been reading about his platform and dig a lot of what he has to propose as far as government reform, health coverage and other issues are concerned. And I hope that, after the election when his chickenshit Democratic Establishment voter populace elects Hillary, that he digs into the Senate trenches and fights like Hell for a lot of these reforms. Perhaps you, Mr. Nader, can assist the good Senator from Illinois with the type of grassroots revolt that you are so capable of executing. But, really, for those of you who support Obama just because you think that it would be cool to put a black man in the White House, here’s a suggestion: start a draft campaign to compel Chuck D into running. Now THERE’S my vote. THERE’S somebody who would kick some shit in D.C. I’m inspired to register a “Draft Chuck D” profile on MySpace RIGHT NOW! Who’s WITH me? (Checking Google) At least one guy! Apparently Davey D in his blog back in April! Cool! Looks like we’re picking up momentum.
And all you Ron Paul supporters? Get the fuck out of my face. I liked him better when his name was John Anderson. Actually, I liked John Anderson more. Though not much. It’s really amusing to me, to be seeing all of these 9/11 conspiracy nuts and pseudo-libertarian Trader Joe’s shoppers making a collective swing off the nuts of the Honorable Representative from the Texas 14th District. Wow, in Congress Ron Paul voted against the Patriot Act and the Iraq War. Whoopee! Yay! Too bad that he was voting that way because of a “less gummint” philosophy and not because those things were fucked up. He also thinks that abortion should be left up to the states to decide and questions the constitutionality of Roe v. Wade. Fuck all the dumb shit. Putting Ron Paul into the White House would be like buying the leanest E-Coli-infected ground beef at the supermarket: hey, we’re writhing in pain, but it sure TASTED good at the time!
So really, Mr. Nader, I’m about ready to do the same thing I did in 2000- leave the whole fuckin’ “President” section of the ballot blank. No, don’t accuse me of helping to get Dubya elected- I live in California and Gore won here by a landslide anyway. And besides, despite the fact that he won the popular vote Gore would not have won anyway due to this thing called the Electoral College and- hey, speaking of reform, how about stirring up the activist troops to join in on a campaign to abolish that antiquated piece of shit institution? Now THERE’s a true chance to unite the country across ideological lines for the public good.
Don’t run. Ever again. Please?
Oh sure, I agree with you almost to the letter when I hear you talk about the stagnant two-party-as-now-one system and how SOMEthing has to be done about it and yadda yadda blah blah blah. And I strongly feel that a third party candidacy could actually be good for getting important issues back into contention.
The only thing is, you are not the guy, Ralph.
While it is admirable that you have a monster track record in activism and public interest work, the fact is, there are three branches of government not one, and well, you have a reputation of being a born leader. Maybe too much of a leader. As in, this is how it’s going to be, consensus, conSHMENsus. THAT kind of leader. Sure you get things done that way but the fact is that there’s these things called Congress and the Supreme Court and this document called the Constitution that sorta have some relevance in this general equation, and well, I don’t think you’re quite in game form for that kinda shit.
But, again, I’m not disputing your general statements: re: the rotting corpse that is the electoral process in America today. I mean, who do we REALLY have to look at as a positive ray of hope in the upcoming Presidential election?
Obama? Oh please. This guy is John Edwards with a darker complexion. I really have to gag when I see all of these suburban I-hate-Bush-but-don’t-give-change-to-homeless-people asswipes trumpeting (real loud and to anyone within earshot / unfortunate enough to stumble upon their website) how much they loooove Sen. Obama and half of them DON’T EVEN KNOW OR CARE WHAT THE FUCK HE’S ABOUT. Now, granted, I actually have been reading about his platform and dig a lot of what he has to propose as far as government reform, health coverage and other issues are concerned. And I hope that, after the election when his chickenshit Democratic Establishment voter populace elects Hillary, that he digs into the Senate trenches and fights like Hell for a lot of these reforms. Perhaps you, Mr. Nader, can assist the good Senator from Illinois with the type of grassroots revolt that you are so capable of executing. But, really, for those of you who support Obama just because you think that it would be cool to put a black man in the White House, here’s a suggestion: start a draft campaign to compel Chuck D into running. Now THERE’S my vote. THERE’S somebody who would kick some shit in D.C. I’m inspired to register a “Draft Chuck D” profile on MySpace RIGHT NOW! Who’s WITH me? (Checking Google) At least one guy! Apparently Davey D in his blog back in April! Cool! Looks like we’re picking up momentum.
And all you Ron Paul supporters? Get the fuck out of my face. I liked him better when his name was John Anderson. Actually, I liked John Anderson more. Though not much. It’s really amusing to me, to be seeing all of these 9/11 conspiracy nuts and pseudo-libertarian Trader Joe’s shoppers making a collective swing off the nuts of the Honorable Representative from the Texas 14th District. Wow, in Congress Ron Paul voted against the Patriot Act and the Iraq War. Whoopee! Yay! Too bad that he was voting that way because of a “less gummint” philosophy and not because those things were fucked up. He also thinks that abortion should be left up to the states to decide and questions the constitutionality of Roe v. Wade. Fuck all the dumb shit. Putting Ron Paul into the White House would be like buying the leanest E-Coli-infected ground beef at the supermarket: hey, we’re writhing in pain, but it sure TASTED good at the time!
So really, Mr. Nader, I’m about ready to do the same thing I did in 2000- leave the whole fuckin’ “President” section of the ballot blank. No, don’t accuse me of helping to get Dubya elected- I live in California and Gore won here by a landslide anyway. And besides, despite the fact that he won the popular vote Gore would not have won anyway due to this thing called the Electoral College and- hey, speaking of reform, how about stirring up the activist troops to join in on a campaign to abolish that antiquated piece of shit institution? Now THERE’s a true chance to unite the country across ideological lines for the public good.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Monday, May 28, 2007
PSYCHO'S RECORD PILE
Flipper- ALBUM - Generic Flipper (1982)
Flipper is an underground legend, a band that should have NEVER made it into the studio. It's a surprise that a band this ready to self-implode at any time even managed to put out the limited amount of material that they did. But there were drugs to buy and thus shows that needed to be played, so hey, they were motivated. "ALBUM- Generic Flipper" is a masterpiece right up on the punk totem pole with the first Ramones LP, "Never Mind The Bollocks" and Black Flag’s "Damaged".
Bar none, these tracks are some of the sloppiest yet most relevant shit ever making it to record. Vanilla Fudge on methamphetamine and grain alcohol. What impresses me greatly about this album is that you can somehow make out the lyrics in this mess. The sublimely sarcastic philosophical rants in songs like "Ever", "Shed No Tears", "The Way of the World" and "Life" are well worth the price even at Corporate Nazi Chain Store list retail. I find "Life is Cheap" and "(I Saw You) Shine" to be rather low points, and I'm sick of hearing "Sex Bomb", yet I always play this entire album from first cut to last. Now THAT'S called passing the test of time.
Flipper- ALBUM - Generic Flipper (1982)
Flipper is an underground legend, a band that should have NEVER made it into the studio. It's a surprise that a band this ready to self-implode at any time even managed to put out the limited amount of material that they did. But there were drugs to buy and thus shows that needed to be played, so hey, they were motivated. "ALBUM- Generic Flipper" is a masterpiece right up on the punk totem pole with the first Ramones LP, "Never Mind The Bollocks" and Black Flag’s "Damaged".
Bar none, these tracks are some of the sloppiest yet most relevant shit ever making it to record. Vanilla Fudge on methamphetamine and grain alcohol. What impresses me greatly about this album is that you can somehow make out the lyrics in this mess. The sublimely sarcastic philosophical rants in songs like "Ever", "Shed No Tears", "The Way of the World" and "Life" are well worth the price even at Corporate Nazi Chain Store list retail. I find "Life is Cheap" and "(I Saw You) Shine" to be rather low points, and I'm sick of hearing "Sex Bomb", yet I always play this entire album from first cut to last. Now THAT'S called passing the test of time.
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Come on now, people! They’re just fuckin’ whales!
I’m not sure what’s worse-
1. The copious amount of TV news time being devoted to pumping up this near non- story (I mean really- you’d think that one more plane hit another building the way that they’re going on.) Hey, I have a suggestion for those of you holding “cute name” contests- how about “Exploitation” and “Desperation”?
2. The fact that these goofballs are piling up in the SUV, and probably leaving the air conditioners on 65 degrees in an empty dwelling just so’s they can go hang around at the river to witness this here “rare wonder of nature” in our own backyards.
When your tract house development is under 15 feet of water this winter, you can thank all these fat asses rolling up in their big ol’ heavy vehicles and massing up on the levees to look at a couple of whales possibly bobbing up for air.
Please. People. Get a life. Just leave the whales alone and let people do their jobs moving them out. Stop rubbernecking. Thank you.
A public service message from Black Hole Media Co.
I’m not sure what’s worse-
1. The copious amount of TV news time being devoted to pumping up this near non- story (I mean really- you’d think that one more plane hit another building the way that they’re going on.) Hey, I have a suggestion for those of you holding “cute name” contests- how about “Exploitation” and “Desperation”?
2. The fact that these goofballs are piling up in the SUV, and probably leaving the air conditioners on 65 degrees in an empty dwelling just so’s they can go hang around at the river to witness this here “rare wonder of nature” in our own backyards.
When your tract house development is under 15 feet of water this winter, you can thank all these fat asses rolling up in their big ol’ heavy vehicles and massing up on the levees to look at a couple of whales possibly bobbing up for air.
Please. People. Get a life. Just leave the whales alone and let people do their jobs moving them out. Stop rubbernecking. Thank you.
A public service message from Black Hole Media Co.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Thursday, May 10, 2007
(Cue “My City Was Gone” by the Pretenders, Rush Limbaugh’s opening theme of choice. Then we hear the opening announcer:)
ANNOUNCER: And now. Live! From the Limbaugh Center for Redacted Truth! A VERY special edition! The one and only RUSH LIMBAUGH TRAVLIN’ MINSTREL Show!
RUSH: Howdy do, my folks! We’s got a VERY special morning planned for all our Dittoheads out there! Fo sho’! We gonna put a smile on all yo’ pasty pale faces as you keep on writin’ those angry emails to them Sacramento TV people and everybody else who I says attacks me about how much you love yo’ Uncle Rushus and want to see dem liberal media devils on a BBQ rack! An’ I want to thank you right now with a lil’ song my Mammy taught me! Ready! Here we go!
(Sung to the tune of old minstrel tune, "Jump Jim Crow")
First a liberal slap, den a low black blow
But doncha make me racist, I’m not Jim Crow.
Statements in the ballpark of “nappy headed hos”.
But don’t call me a racist, I’m not Jim Crow.
(A brief softshoe is now heard in the background, before tune ends. Canned applause track)
Thank you my Dittoheads of ‘Merica! I know you sho did enjoy that lil’ song and dance I just did fo’ yo’ all, just like all the stuff that comes out of my mouff! Hell, yes, I could walk up to yo’ all on the street and puke right all over yo’ shoes an’ yo’ all be lovin’ me fo’ it! When I says everything out of my mouff I means EVERTHIN’!
(Canned laugh track)
And now let’s gather ‘round the ol’ cracker barrel and talk some turkey over this here new controversy, that yo’ all, my dedicated brainwashed flock o’ white right wingin’ sheep, know has been blown up out of ALL kinds of proportion like activities! Hell, I was only havin’ me some fun an’ tryin’ to make a point about why we’s so scared of Obama here on the right! After, all, it be a natural fact that that term I used, “Magic Negro” was used in a real actual news story by a BLACK man, can ya hears me loud and clear, yo’ all? You know, just like, Snoop Dogg used “nappy headed hoes” in a song, an’ THEREfore, it was perfeck okay for Imus to use it his own self! And yo’ can now see, my dear listeners, since a jen-yoon black man wrote about magic Negroes, it is now perfeckly right fo’ us white folks to imitate famous black people in order to make fun of all ours politicized enemies! Know what I mean?
What some of yo’ all mean, don’t know what I mean? You must be one of them guilty white honkies that we always talkin’ bout ‘round these here parts! Well, yo’ Uncle Rushus is going to keep on going at it just the same, ‘cause that’s what keeps all my Dittohomies tuning in like some freaky ol’ cult followers day after day an’ going out an’ spending they’s hard earned cash on all the crap my sponsors sell to yo’ all! So, I figure, why the Hell change, see that?
So, tune in tomorrow, Dittoheads, jus’ like you did today and yesterday and as alway, and I be discussin' my theory of how Phil Spector is done bein' set up by all these angry Hollywood liberals with a white girl’s killin’ because of all the minorities he abused and burned for hit recordin’s! See yo’ all then!
Monday, May 07, 2007
What's so outrageous about these kooky folks standing outside of the high schools around town with the anti-gay protest signs?
Don't you heathens understand?
These people are just trying to prove that Christians are sodomy experts.
See? That's all there is to it.
Other than that, wake me up when Fred Phelps brings his hyper-homophobic ass into town. After all, anyone who's slimebrained enough to hold up signs proclaiming "GOD HATES FAGS" at Matthew Shepard's funeral is just chompin' at the bit to get in on this one. Hell, as we speak he's probably gassin' up the school bus for the ride in from Topeka. C'mon, all you Mother Russia refugees stirrin' up this shit, invite the not- so- Reverend in with open arms and show your true colors, why doncha? Then let's see how much publicity you're going to milk off this sorry waste of news print and airtime. Big Fat Hint: it won't be the kind of PR you're looking for.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Someone needs to say this. Just once.
For those of you from my age, cultural expreiences and generation, who watch network / commercial-laden television, you'll understand.
Although I don't come directly from this particular subculture, I think those who are will tend to agree.
Ready? I'll only say it once, and only once.
Mods. Don't. Drive. Cadillacs.
That's all. Carry on.
For those of you from my age, cultural expreiences and generation, who watch network / commercial-laden television, you'll understand.
Although I don't come directly from this particular subculture, I think those who are will tend to agree.
Ready? I'll only say it once, and only once.
Mods. Don't. Drive. Cadillacs.
That's all. Carry on.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
MILK IT, NBC! And CBS and ABC and CNN and Fux News!
And all you others, don’t hate on NBC just because the young man only mailed his multimedia extravaganza to them alone! He didn’t have time to make copies and look up addresses! Hell, he couldn’t even get NBC’s address right! I mean, how could you fuck up the address for 30 Rock! And besides, you get to use the images that the Big Bird received! They’re sharing! That’s fair and balanced so admit it, Fux News! Hell yeah it is!
By all means, give the fella his 15 minutes! Or more likely, about 15 hours of face time in the next 24! After all, that’s what he wanted! To tell everyone tuning in how much he hates rich people and feels like the second coming o’ Jeezo! After all, he was being crucified, for Chrissake! Poor lil’ middle class son of dry cleaner owners! He couldn’t get into Harvard or Berkeley so just imagine the degrading feeling he has being among these State University system heathens! The poverty gap resentment is so, well, obvious! Well, it is! Yup!
And by all means, please keep interviewing the roommates! There’s nothing that drives the message home more than the smirks being suppressed by the Caucasian frat boys as they relate their memories of their creepy introverted former classmate! And what’s really incredible here is when you hear them stress how they just let him alone and do his own thing and never, and they mean NEVER did a single thing to tease or antagonize him! My god! This young man lived in the most docile, tolerant dorm- oops uh, I meant, as they say nowadays, “suite” in collegiate history! After all, it’s not unrealistic to assume that when a nerdy, weird loner student is sharing living space with 5 other young guys in various stages of incomplete social and intellectual development, you completely get your own space! They totally let ya be! Of course! That’s like TOTALLY normal!
So by all means, play into the little bugger’s hands like Jacko staring into the eyes of a 12-year-old boy! Splash the pictures of Mr. Stress Junkie brandishing his Wal-Mart ammo loaded guns like a character out of a Chan-Wook Park movie!
(Hey! That reminds me! There’s a part of Oldboy that relies heavily on hammers! Fuck yeah there is!)
Keep replaying that tape of homie trying to talk all low voiced and tough and shit! While speaking to relatives, students, mental health experts, etc., keep playing the same photo slideshow (smiling pose! pointing gun pose! hammer pose! both guns drawn pose! knife pose! and over and over with those same few photos ad nauseam, interspersed with muted video of Freakboy blabbing to the camera!) Better get to work catching up with CNN- they got specials planned for Saturday AND Sunday night! Fuck it! Just broadcast non-stop coverage of all of the funerals, press conferences and related hoo-hah 24-7! For God’s sake, don’t get left behind!
And on a last note, I completely ripped off my writing style for this blog entry! I decided to cop on one of my favorite writers of all time, a guy named Lester Bangs! It’s inspired by one of my favorite pieces of his, called “Sham 69 Is Innocent!” From a classic collection of his work called “Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung”! Go out and get a copy and read it right now! Cover to cover! Especially if you’re an English major! Then you might be inspired to figure out how to write something interesting! Not some dumbass script about some kid getting molested by his stepdad and chainsaws and all that stupid shit! Then people won’t castigate you and think you’re a freak, driving you over the edge until you turn around one day and decide to perforate people with bullets! But you don’t care! Neither do I! So let’s watch!
And all you others, don’t hate on NBC just because the young man only mailed his multimedia extravaganza to them alone! He didn’t have time to make copies and look up addresses! Hell, he couldn’t even get NBC’s address right! I mean, how could you fuck up the address for 30 Rock! And besides, you get to use the images that the Big Bird received! They’re sharing! That’s fair and balanced so admit it, Fux News! Hell yeah it is!
By all means, give the fella his 15 minutes! Or more likely, about 15 hours of face time in the next 24! After all, that’s what he wanted! To tell everyone tuning in how much he hates rich people and feels like the second coming o’ Jeezo! After all, he was being crucified, for Chrissake! Poor lil’ middle class son of dry cleaner owners! He couldn’t get into Harvard or Berkeley so just imagine the degrading feeling he has being among these State University system heathens! The poverty gap resentment is so, well, obvious! Well, it is! Yup!
And by all means, please keep interviewing the roommates! There’s nothing that drives the message home more than the smirks being suppressed by the Caucasian frat boys as they relate their memories of their creepy introverted former classmate! And what’s really incredible here is when you hear them stress how they just let him alone and do his own thing and never, and they mean NEVER did a single thing to tease or antagonize him! My god! This young man lived in the most docile, tolerant dorm- oops uh, I meant, as they say nowadays, “suite” in collegiate history! After all, it’s not unrealistic to assume that when a nerdy, weird loner student is sharing living space with 5 other young guys in various stages of incomplete social and intellectual development, you completely get your own space! They totally let ya be! Of course! That’s like TOTALLY normal!
So by all means, play into the little bugger’s hands like Jacko staring into the eyes of a 12-year-old boy! Splash the pictures of Mr. Stress Junkie brandishing his Wal-Mart ammo loaded guns like a character out of a Chan-Wook Park movie!
(Hey! That reminds me! There’s a part of Oldboy that relies heavily on hammers! Fuck yeah there is!)
Keep replaying that tape of homie trying to talk all low voiced and tough and shit! While speaking to relatives, students, mental health experts, etc., keep playing the same photo slideshow (smiling pose! pointing gun pose! hammer pose! both guns drawn pose! knife pose! and over and over with those same few photos ad nauseam, interspersed with muted video of Freakboy blabbing to the camera!) Better get to work catching up with CNN- they got specials planned for Saturday AND Sunday night! Fuck it! Just broadcast non-stop coverage of all of the funerals, press conferences and related hoo-hah 24-7! For God’s sake, don’t get left behind!
And on a last note, I completely ripped off my writing style for this blog entry! I decided to cop on one of my favorite writers of all time, a guy named Lester Bangs! It’s inspired by one of my favorite pieces of his, called “Sham 69 Is Innocent!” From a classic collection of his work called “Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung”! Go out and get a copy and read it right now! Cover to cover! Especially if you’re an English major! Then you might be inspired to figure out how to write something interesting! Not some dumbass script about some kid getting molested by his stepdad and chainsaws and all that stupid shit! Then people won’t castigate you and think you’re a freak, driving you over the edge until you turn around one day and decide to perforate people with bullets! But you don’t care! Neither do I! So let’s watch!
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