Saturday, January 03, 2009

I SUPPOSE THAT WE CAN'T CALL IT THE "PURPLE DUMP" ANYMORE.



I've lived in about a half dozen different joints in Midtown, but the first one was what was probably not so affectionately referred to as the "Purple Dump".

This otherwise relatively nondescript apartment building was home in the mid 1980s and hoo boy, I couldn't begin to narrate the complete stories of the music played, events that unfolded, and drugs that were consumed in that time. Among other memories was the morning that, following a typical night of LSD, pot and beer consumption, I had woken up after about two or three hours of sleep to walk into my living room and lo and behold, here comes Emilio Estevez being chased by a bunch of various law enforcement vehicles down P Street for the filming of Wisdom, a Brat Pack-era actioner shot in many locales in Sacramento which has been mostly forgotten by the movie-going public at large. And besides, Sacramento was just being used to represent Minnesota anyway. I didn't even realize that they had palm trees in Minnesota.

Anyway, for years and years and years the building had a color resembling a longtime old and stale grape flavored square of Now and Later candy, and thus had in time earned the now legendary nickname of "The Purple Dump". Imagine my surprise when, passing by one day, I had noticed that the owners decided to, erm, spruce things up with a fresh coat of paint. Unfortunately, they decided to use "School Bus Yellow" as their new color scheme.

Why the fuck would you paint ANY dwelling the color of a Yellow Cab, unless it's, say, the Yellow Cab Dispatch Center and Garage? Are you pissed off at the neighbors and want to hurt their eyes every time they come outside of their homes? Is there a study which has proven that crackheads are less likely to rent or loiter around places painted this way?

Yeah, I have a feeling that the "For Rent" sign in front of this joint is going to be posted in the front for quite some time. Oh well, I guess that they can't call it "The Purple Dump" anymore. Perhaps a new nickname like "Ugly Ass Yellow Shithole" can be a suitable replacement.